Height Jokes / Recent Jokes
what is the height of foolishness? ans. a girl having a bath in a transparent glass bathroom and santa banta fighting to peep through the key hole
A group of managers were given he assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So they went to the flagpole with a ladder and a measuring tape. They keep falling off the ladder, dropping the tape and the whole thing in mess. An engineer comes along and sees what they are trying to do. He walks over, pull the flagpole out of the ground, lay it flat, measure it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the manager and walk away. After the engineer left, one of the manager turns to another and laughs. "Isn't that just like an engineer? We are looking for the height and he gives us the length."
Modern Heights
1. What is height of Fashion?
A. Dhoti with a zip.
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2. What is height of Secrecy?
A. Offering blank visiting cards.
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3. What is height of Active laziness?
A. Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
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4. What is height of Craziness?
A. Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
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5. What is height of Forgetfulness?
A. Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.
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6. What is height of Stupidity?
A. A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
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7. What is height of Honesty?
A. A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
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8. What is height of more...
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't hear the question."Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond.Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question.""Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you!"
Eight ways to use a barometer to find the height of a building:
Measure the height of the barometer. Scale the side of the building, measuring its height in barometer-units.
Drop the barometer from the top of the building. Measure the time until it hits the street. Correcting for the mass/surface ratio of the instrument, use basic acceleration equation to find the height.
Tie string to top of barometer. Lower from roof to almost ground. Swing. Period of pendulum can be used to find distance from barometer's Center of Gravity to top of building.
Tie a long cable to the barometer and lower it from the top of the building to the ground, and then measure the length of the cable.
Take the barometer outside on a sunny day, measure its shadow and the buildings shadow.
Drop the barometer from the top of the building. Measure how far was it shifted by Corriolis force. The rest is trivial.
Sell the barometer. Purchase a tape measure long enough to more...
A team of engineers were required to measure the height of a flag pole. They only had a measuring tape, and were getting
Quite frustrated trying to keep the tape along the pole. It kept falling down, etc. A mathematician comes along, finds out
Their problem, and proceeds to remove the pole from the ground where he can measure it easily. When he leaves, one engineer
Says to the other: "just like a mathematician! We needed to know the height, and he gave us the length!"