Height Jokes / Recent Jokes
A group of Surds were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole.
So they go out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures, and they're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures - the whole thing is just a mess.
A passer-by comes along and sees what they're trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the Surds and walks away.
After the person has gone, one Surd turns to another and laughs. "What a nut, we're looking for the height and he gives us the length."
The professors of mathematics and physics were staring away at the flag pole in front of the front of the college building. The professor of English walking by asked, "What seems to be the problem?""We," said the professor of mathematics, "were wondering how to measure the height of this flag pole."The professor of English quickly unscrewed the pole from its moorings, laid it on the ground, whipped out a measuring tape, measured it, and said, "It is exactly 20 feet long," and walked away smoking his pipe.Looking at the English professor's receding back, the professor of physics remarked, "Smart ass. We wanted to know the height, and he tells us the length!"
An engineer, a mathmatician and an arts graduate were given the task of finding the height of a church steeple (the first to get the correct solution wins a $1000).
The engineer tried to remember things about differential pressures, but resorted to climbing the steeple and lowering a string on a plumb bob until it touched the ground and then climbed down and measured the length of the string.
The Mathematician layed out a reference line, measured the angle to the top of the steeple from both ends and worked out the height by trigonometry.
However, the arts graduate won the prize. He bought the vicar a beer in the local pub and he told him how high the church steeple was.
An Engineering Student, a Physics Student, and a Mathematics student were each given $150 dollars and were told to use that money to find out exactly how tall a particular hotel was. All three ran off, extremely keen on how to do this.
The physics student went out, purchased some stopwatches, a number of ball bearings, a calculator, and some friends. He had them all time the drop of ball bearings from the roof, and he then figured out the height from the time it took for the bearings to accelerate from rest until they impacted with the sidewalk.
The math student waited until the sun was going down, then she took out her protractor, plumb line, measuring tape,and scratch pad, measured the length of the shadow, found the angle the buildings roof made from the ground, and used trigonometry to figure out the height of the building.
Of course, with all that was involved in getting this experiment done, they were up plenty late studying for other courses' exams. These two more...
Q: What is the height of stupidity?
A: 2 men sitting on a motorcycle & fighting for a window seat
The height of your accomplishments will equal the depth of your convictions.
Q: What's the height of conceit?
A: Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.