Helicopters Jokes / Recent Jokes

This is supposedly true story from a recent Defence Science Lectures Series, as related by the head of the Australian DSTO's Land Operations/Simulation division.

They've been working on some really nifty virtual reality simulators, the case in point being to incorporate Armed Reconnaisance Helicopters into exercises (from the data fusion point of view). Most of the people they employ on this sort of thing are ex- (or future) computer game programmers.

Anyway, as part of the reality parameters, they include things like trees and animals. For the Australian simulation they included kangaroos. In particular, they had to model kangaroo movements and reactions to helicopters (since hordes of disturbed kangaroos might well give away a helicopter's position).

Being good little programmers, they just stole some code (which was originally used to model infantry detachments reactions under the same stimuli), and changed the mapped icon, the speed parameters, more...

[Royters: Dateline Washington]
Joe Motzeratz Reporting
Justice Department Siege Section's Helicopters & Tanks Rolling Towards Redmond
With the clock ticking ever closer to the deadline imposed by the Justice Department and the leaders of the Redmond WA based cult promising a fight to the end, Attorney General Janet Reno has informed the Justice Department's Siege Section to start the helicopters and tanks rolling towards Microsoft's campus in Redmond Washington; as well as cutting off the avenues of escape for Cult Leader Gates to his fortified redoubt on the lake, known as "C:/"..
Attorney General Reno stated that with such a formidable foe as Microsoft, and their response to her edict, that it would have to be a Take No Prisoners operation as the threat to the community at large is even more egregious than the mentally troubled widow in Illinois, and a much greater threat than the situation that first propelled her to prominence.
Apparently, Attorney more...

Q: How many helicopters does it take for White House aides to go play a round of golf? A: Depends on how many were photographed.

Okay konspiracy lovers, the squadron leader for unmarked black helicopters has spilled the beans about the whole Foster Konspiracy:
It seems Bill Klinton (aka Devil Spawn, Klaytaxocchio, Billary, OurPhilanderInChief, etc.) Invited Vince FOSTER and Henry FOSTER over to the secret Hillary Condo for an evening which included consumption of large quantities of FOSTER's Lager followed by a trip to the FOSTER's Freeze for ice cream. Vince FOSTER got into an argument with Bill Klinton over the use of drug money laundered through the Whitewater accounts used to finance the construction of the aforementioned black helicopters. Vince FOSTER was done in by Hillary's personal OneWorldGovernmentGuard and spirited away, once again using the unmarked black helicopters.
Dr. FOSTER's involvement in the Konspiracy is even more astounding. It seems that OurPhilandererIn Chief's ways have "taken seed" a couple of times and it has been Dr. FOSTER's job to find FOSTER homes for the more...

[Royters: Dateline Washington]
Joe Motzeratz Reporting
Justice Department Siege Section's Helicopters & Tanks Rolling Towards Redmond
With the clock ticking ever closer to the deadline imposed by the Justice Department and the leaders of the Redmond WA based cult promising a fight to the end, Attorney General Janet Reno has informed the Justice Department's Siege Section to start the helicopters and tanks rolling towards Microsoft's campus in Redmond Washington; as well as cutting off the avenues of escape for Cult Leader Gates to his fortified redoubt on the lake, known as "C:/"..
Attorney General Reno stated that with such a formidable foe as Microsoft, and their response to her edict, that it would have to be a Take No Prisoners operation as the threat to the community at large is even more egregious than the mentally troubled widow in Illinois, and a much greater threat than the situation that first propelled her to prominence.
Apparently, more...