Hen Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why was the hen banned from sending e-mails? She was always using fowl language.

There was once a Indian and a Pakistani who lived next door to each other. The Indian owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.
One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Pakistani's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Pakistani pick up the egg. The Indian ran up to the Pakistani and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Pakistani disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.
They argued for a while until finally the Indian said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the balls and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the balls and time how long it takes for me to get up, who ever gets up quicker wins the egg."
The Pakistani agreed to this and so the Indian found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward more...

There was once a Scotsman and an Englishman who lived next door to each other. The Scotsman owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hens eggs for breakfast. One day he looked outside and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Englishmans garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Englishman pick up the egg. The Scotsman ran up to the Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid on his property. They argued for a while until finally the Scotsman said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I punch you in the nose and note how long it takes you to recover, then you punch me in the nose and note how long it takes for me to recover, whomever recovers quicker wins the egg."The Englishman agreed to this and so the Scotsman held the heaviest object he could find, took a few steps back, then ran toward the Englishman and more...

A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the
market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a
special rooster- one that service all of his many hens and when
he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied: "I have
just the rooster for you. Randy here is the horniest rooster you
will ever see!"
So the farmer took Randy back to the farm. Before setting him loose
in the hen house though, he gave Randy a little pep talk. "Randy", he
said, "I'm counting on you to do your stuff". And without a word he
strutted into the hen house.
Randy was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a
thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till
Randy had finished having his way with each hen. But Randy didn't stop
there, he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one
and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pig more...

HERE is a variation of the one-legged tandoori chicken anecdote. A dhabawala who had been questioned for serving such a bird took his customer outside and showed him a hen which happened at the time to be standing on one leg. The customer cried "shoo, shoo". The hen promptly scampered away on its two legs. Unabshed the dhabawala replied, "Sir, if only you had shouted' shoo shoo' before eating my chicken, the second leg would have appeared."

A farmer, upset with his low yield of eggs, decided to go to town to buy a fresh rooster who could liven things up a bit with his hens. The man at the supply store told him he wished he could help, but all he had was this incredible randy rooster.

"But that's just what I need!" the farmer said. The store owner said, "Not this rooster, he's trouble. I've never seen anything so horny." But the farmer insisted and eventually took the rooster home on the condition that he wouldn't ever return it.

Once home, the rooster jumped into the hen house and nailed every hen repeatedly until they were all exhausted and nearly dead. Undaunted, the rooster hopped the fence and got in with the ducks, repeating the scene with the hens and wiping out all the ducks. He then leaped another fence and proceeding to nail all the geese.

This continued for three days until all the farm birds that were left alive lay gasping. The farmer found the rooster more...

There was once a Scotsman and an Englishman who lived next door to each other. The Scotsman owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen’s eggs for breakfast.
One day he looked outside and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Englishman’s garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Englishman pick up the egg. The Scotsman ran up to the Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.
They argued for a while until finally the Scotsman said, “In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I punch you in the nose and note how long it takes you to recover, then you punch me in the nose and note how long it takes for me to recover, whomever recovers quicker wins the egg. ”
The Englishman agreed to this and so the Scotsman held the heaviest object he could find, took a few steps back, then ran toward the more...