Henry Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two Antartians were speeding down the highway at well over 90 mph.
"Hey," asked Bob, who was at the wheel, "any cops following us?"
Henry, his passenger, turned around and had a long look at the road behind them.
"Yeah, looks like it," he responded.
"Are his flashers on?" asked Bob.
Henry turned around again...
"Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."

A little Henry sits at the dinner table, reaches into his plate, picks up a chicken leg, and starts to eat. His mother says, "Henry did you wash your hands?" Henry replies, "No! I don`t want my chicken to taste like soap mom!

A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?"
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail."
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back!?!"
"A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal Henry."

Q: What would king Henry VIII be doing if he was alive right now? A: Scratching at the lid of his coffin of course!!!

THE CANDYWRAPPER
It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss
Hershey
standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue
when I
whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to
Krunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?" Well, she immediately
went
down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like Pure Almond Joy! I couldn't
help but
grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that this little
Twix had
the Red Hots. It was all I could do to hold the Snicker and Crackle as
my
Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream
"Oh
Henry, Oh Henry!" Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I
knew it
wouldn't be long before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave her
a
taste of the old Milky Way. She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said,
"hey
Chicklet, more...

A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in two's for the day. That night one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight point buck. "Where's Henry?" "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail." "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back!" "A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal Henry."

When it looked like they were losing badly, the soccer coach in desperation jumped up and pointed to his worst player. "Henry," he said, "I want you to go out there and get mean and ugly!"

"Whatever you say, Coach!" replied Henry.

Springing to his feet, Henry looked over the other team players. "Hey, Coach?" he said, "which one's Mean and which one's Ugly?"