Henry Jokes / Recent Jokes

A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.

"Where's Henry?"

"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail."

"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back!?!"

"A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal Henry."

A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck."Where's Henry?""Henry had a nasty fall and broke both of his legs. He's a couple of miles back up the trail.""You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back!?!""A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"

After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington." How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" Washington, slapping Osama in the face. Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose. James Madison comes up next, and says "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a large weight on Osama's knee. Osama is subject to similar beatings from James Monroe, and 65 other people who have the same love for liberty and America. As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged. As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams - "this is not what I was promised!"An angel replies "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you... What the more...

Candy Bar Life
It was just another day and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue. I whipped out my Million Dollar Bar and whispered "Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like Crunch on My Big Hunk" she replied "Oh Henry, what a Whopper."
Well she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll and it was pure Almond Joy. I couldn't resist her Charms and reached out and grabbed her Mounds, it was easy to see this little Twix had the Red Hots for me. It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger slipped into her tight little Kit Kat as she screamed "Oh Henry, Oh Henry" soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and Zagnut's.
It wasn't long before I blew my Milk Duds to Mars, which gave her a taste of the old Milky Way. She asked about M&M, but I said "Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff you little Reese's pieces.Don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don't you grab my more...

Candy Bar LifeIt was just another day and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue. I whipped out my Million Dollar Bar and whispered "Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like Crunch on My Big Hunk" she replied "Oh Henry, what a Whopper."Well she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll and it was pure Almond Joy. I couldn't resist her Charms and reached out and grabbed her Mounds, it was easy to see this little Twix had the Red Hots for me. It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger slipped into her tight little Kit Kat as she screamed "Oh Henry, Oh Henry" soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and Zagnut's. It wasn't long before I blew my Milk Duds to Mars, which gave her a taste of the old Milky Way. She asked about M&M, but I said "Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff you little Reese's pieces.Don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don't you grab my more...

Old Henry has been sick for quite some time, and could no longer stand the doldrums he was in, so he decided to see his good friend, Dr. Herb Cohen.

After a thorough examination, Dr. Cohen told his friend, Henry, " Henry, you have a very rare disease and the only thing that can help you is to have a daily drink of fresh milk from a young mother."

That didn't sound too bad to Henry, and after several days of looking for the right person, they found a young mother who was willing to sell her milk. So, for the first couple of days Henry showed up at the beautiful young lady's house at 2:00 sharp, and proceeded to imbibe of the woman's breast milk.

On the fifth day, the young lady was beginning to get accustomed to Henry, and with him nuzzling her breasts, she was becoming a bit erotic. So, as Henry was about to finish drinking the milk of the woman that day, she said to him seductively, "Well, Henry, is there anything else you would more...

Teacher: What Is Your Name?
Student: Henry.
Teacher: Say Sir.
Student: Sir Henry.