Herd Jokes / Recent Jokes
What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
"Look, a herd of elephants in the distance"
What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses in the distance?
Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.
What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in the distance?
"Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!"
What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance?"Look, a herd of elephants in the distance"What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglassesin the distance? Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in the distance?"Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!"
there was this airplane flying over the ocean and the pilot gets on the radio and says ladys and gentalmen we are about to make a crash landing into the ocean you might want to put your seatbelts on this won guy said the hell with that and started ripping his cloths off the stewartest said what the hell are you doing and he said i always herd on tv that when you land and hit the water you always get real wet and your close get heavy and you sink and hit the bottom im going to float as long as i can so this other guy jumped up and started to put that guys cloths on the stewartest said what are you doing he said i always herd on tv when you land and hit that water you get real cold and die of hypothermia and im going to stay warm as long as i can...then this other guy jumps up and says yall are all crazy and he runs over there and grabs this big black girl and starts pooring it to her and the stewartest says what the hell are you doing and he said well i always herd on tv the first more...
Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days later, as she was driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a herd of goats pass.
Admiring the cute creatures, she said to the goatherder,' 'If I can guess how many goats you have, can I take one?''.
The goatherder, always the gentleman replied,' 'Of course.''
The blonde thought for a moment and for no discernible reason said,' '352.''
This being the correct number, the goatherder was, understandably totally amazed and exclaimed,' 'You're right! Okay, I'll keep my end of the deal. Take your pick of my herd.''
The blonde carefully considered the entire herd and finally picked one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others.
When she was done, the goatherder turned to her and said,' 'Okay, now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have more...
This is not only philosophical but is obviously pure science.
A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.
This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members.
In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
In this way regular consumption of beer eliminates the
weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. So that's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
This is not only philosophical but is obviously pure science.A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members. In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.In this way regular consumption of beer eliminates theweaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. So that's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.