Hi-tech Jokes

A man is at Grand Central Station waiting for his train that leaves at 6 p.m., but he has forgotten his watch. So he looks for someone to ask the time. He spots a guy carrying two suitcases and sporting this fabulous hi-tech watch, so he asks him for the time.The guy replies "Sure, which country?"The fella asks, "How many countries have you got?" to which the man replies, "All the countries in the world!""Wow! That's a pretty cool watch you've got there.""That's nothing," the man says. "This watch also has a GPS facility, fax, e-mail and can even receive NTSC television channels and display them on its miniature active color pixel LCD screen!""Boy, that's incredible. I wish I had a watch like that one. You wouldn't consider selling it by any chance?""Well, actually the novelty has worn off for me, so for $900, if you want it, it's yours."The watchless traveler can hardly whip out his checkbook fast enough more...

Join the dynamic team here at SoulWaste. We want people who
believe in the hi-tech religion and who are willing to work 60 hour
weeks under florescent lights in grey buildings with windows that
don't open. After all, the earth will stop rotating on its axis
if our product doesn't get out the door before the competition.
You must be a mindless zealot who's idea of a good time is
playing MacIntosh computer games on nights and weekends and who's
conversations with other people sound like a Wang commercial.
You must believe in the Yuppie vision of the world as shown in
Wang, H-P, and AT&T commercials where people are shown thinking
about their job while swimming or walking their dog and where
everybody is inadequate if they haven't purchased the latest
wiz-bang box or felt anxious guilt if their office system isn't
networked to everything more hi-tech than a Smith-Corona typewriter.
Yes, we don't just want your hours at SoulWaste-we more...

This guy is at the airport waiting for his flight which leaves at 6: 00 but he has forgotten his
watch, so he looks for someone to ask the time. He spots this guy walking past carrying 2 suitcases
and sporting this fabulous hi-tech watch, so he askes him for the time. The guy replies "Sure, which
country?" Our fella asks "How many countries have you got?" to which the reply is "All the countries
in the world!"
"Wow! That's a pretty cool watch you've got there."
"That's nothing. This watch also has a GPS facility, fax, e-mail and can even receive NTSC television
channels and display them on its miniature active color pixel LCD screen!"
"Boy, that's incredible. I wish I had a watch like that one. . . You wouldn't consider selling it by
any chance?"
"Well, actually the novelty has worn off by now, so for $900, if you want it, it's yours!"
Our watchless traveller more...

Hi-Tech Coasters - Free!
This is a special, limited offer for free hi-tech coasters to place your
cups and mugs upon.
Sized and shaped exactly like 3 1/2" high density disks, these durable
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Flash! For extra-large mugs, we now provide coasters that are the exact
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down on the hippest coaster today!
For your free coaster, call America Online today at (800) 445-6622. Order now!

The Dictionary: what hi-tech salespeople say and what they mean by it

New: Different color from previous design.
All new: Parts not interchangable with previous design.
Unmatched: Almost as good as the competition.
Designed simplicity: Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone.
Foolproof operation: No provision for adjustments.
Advanced design: The advertising agency doesn't understand it.
Field-tested: Manufacturer lacks test equipment.
High accuracy: Unit on which all parts fit.
Direct sales only: Factory had big argument with distributor.
Years of development: We finally got one that works.
Revolutionary: It's different from our competitiors.
Breakthrough: We finally figured out a way to sell it.
Improved: Didn't work the first time.
Futuristic: No other reason why it looks the way it does.
Distinctive: A different shape and color than the others.
Re-designed: Previous faults corrected, we more...