Higher Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day Santa went to an auction. While there, he bid on an exotic parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. Santa kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the fine bird was finally his!
As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!"
"Don't worry", said the Auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"

A Rabbi and a Priest were sitting together on a train, and the Rabbi leans over and asks, "So how high can you advance in your organization?" The Priest says "If I am lucky, I guess I could become a Bishop." "Well, could you get any higher than that?" asks the Rabbi. "I suppose that if my works are seen in a very good light that I might be made an ArchBishop" said the Priest a bit cautiously. "Is there any way that you might go higher than that?" "If all the Saints should smile, I guess I could be made a Cardinal" "Could you be anything higher than a Cardinal?" probed the Rabbi. Hesitating a little bit, the Priest said "I supose that I could be elected Pope, but..." So the Rabbi says "And could you be anything higher than that?, is there any way to go up from being the Pope?" "What!!! I should be the Messiah himself!?!" The Rabbi leaned back and said "One of ou r boys made it."

Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and George W. Bush died and found themselves standing on the other side of the Jordan River, looking across at the promised land. The Archangel Michael was standing on the other side and shouted over to the three surprised Americans, "Contrary to what you have been taught, each of you will have to wade across the Jordan River." As Michael saw their perplexed looks, he reassured them by saying, "Don't worry. You will sink only proportionally according to your sins on earth. The more you have sinned, the more you will sink into the water."The three American sages of political lore looked at one another, trying to determine who would be the first brave soul to cross the Jordan River.Finally, George W. Bush volunteered to go first. Slowly he began to wade out into the river, and slowly the water began to get higher and higher, reaching to his waist. George began to sweat, thinking that all of his sins were coming back to haunt him. He was more...

Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs.... who arranged a running competition.
The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.
A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants....
The race began....
Honestly:
No one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.
You heard statements such as:
"Oh, WAY too difficult!!"
"They will NEVER make it to the top."
"Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"
The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one....
Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher....
The crowd continued to yell, "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up....
But ONE continued higher and higher and higher....
This one wouldn't give up!
At the end everyone else had given up climbing the more...

At the auction, the man’s eye caught the most beautiful parrot he had ever seen. Determined to have the bird, he began bidding. Each time he bid, someone out bid him. Higher and higher the bidding went until, finally, he won the bird. As he was paying the auctioneer for the parrot, he commented, “I certainly hope this parrot can talk. After what I’m paying for him, I would hate to find out that he can’t. ” “Talk? Don’t you worry sir, he can talk, ” replied the Auctioneer. “Who do you think kept bidding against you? ”

A Sardarji father gave the following advice to his son about to be married. "Son, if you want things from your in-laws, be sure to pitch your demand high. If you wanted a cycle, ask for a scooter; if you wanted a motorcycle, ask for a Maruti. Always ask for something higher than you need."
The young Sardarji who wanted no dowry, imbibed the lesson. When his father-in-law asked what he wanted, the young Sardarji replied, "nothing just Give me the girl's mother."

A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news.

"So, did you jump?" the father asked.

"Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!" "Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.

"Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door."

"Did you jump then?" asked the father.

"I'm getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told me to get off the plane or he'd kick more...