Notes Jokes

Laloo, Jayalalitha, and karunanidhi are on a long flight in an Air Force plane. Laloo pulls out a 100 Rupee note and says, "I'm going to throw this Rs. 100 note out and make someone down below happy."
Jayalalitha not wanting to be outdone says,
"If that was my 100 Rupee note, I would split it into two Rs. 50 notes throw them down and make two people down below happy."
Of course karunanidhi doesn't want these two candidates to out do him so he pipes in,
" I would instead take one hundred Rs. 1 notes and throw them out to
make 100 people just a little happier."
At this point the pilot who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore comes out and says,
"If I throw all three of you out of this plane and I'll make 100 crore people happy!"

Three baseball fans were on their way to a game when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the
road.

They stopped and discovered a nude female dead drunk.
Out of respect and propriety the Cubs fan took off his cap and placed it over her right breast.
The Red Sox fan took off his cap and placed it over her left breast. Following their lead the Yankee fan took off his cap and placed it over her crotch.

The police were called and when the officer arrived he
conducted his inspection. First he lifted up the Cubs cap
replaced it and wrote down some notes. Next he lifted the
Sox cap replaced it and wrote down some more notes.

The officer then lifted the Yankees cap replaced it then lifted it again replaced it lifted it a third time and replaced it one last time.

The Yankee fan was getting upset and finally asked What
are you a pervert or something? Why do you keep lifting and
looking more...

Rabri Devi, Sonia Gandhi and Jayalalitha were flying together in a plane.
They were just talking among themselves when
Rabri said:' I have this 100 rupee note. If I drop this from the plane then it will fall on the ground and one Indian will pick it up and so I can make one Indian happy.
So Sonia pulled out two 50 rupee notes and said: If I drop these two 50 rupee notes, I can make two Indians happy.
Lastly Jaya pulled out 100 one rupee note and said:' If I can drop all 100 one rupee notes, then I can make 100 Indians happy.'
Seeing all this hypocrisy the pilot could not resist himself and said: If I can drop all three of you from the plane, I can make one billion Indians happy.

To all those Freshman note takers out there....here's an example of good
note taking :-)...
How to Take Notes
WHEN PROFESSOR MITCHELL SAYS:
"Probably the greatest quality
of the poetry of John Milton, who
was born in 1608, is the combination
of beauty and power. Few have
excelled him in the use of the
English language, or for that
matter, in lucidity of verse form,
'Paradise Lost' being said to be
the greatest single poem ever
written."
YOU WRITE:
John Milton-born 1608
WHEN PROFESSOR MITCHELL SAYS:
"When Lafayette first came to
this country, he discovered
America. The Americans needed his
help if their cause was to survive,
and this he promptly supplied them."
YOU WRITE:
Lafayette discovered America
WHEN PROFESSOR MITCHELL SAYS:
"Current historians have come to
doubt the complete advantageousness
of some of Roosevelt's policies"
YOU more...

My friend invented Cliff's Notes. When I asked him how he got such a great idea, he said, "Well, first I... I just... well, to make a long story short... "