Highway Jokes / Recent Jokes

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident,' I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer. Farmer Joe responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the..." "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident,' I'm fine'?". Farmer Joe said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road..." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to more...

A middle aged woman is hitchhiking along a highway. A guy in an 18 wheeler stops for her and shouts "Come on in!".
The two of them are going down the highway, and this woman starts to fiddle with the glove compartment, when all of the sudden a box of condoms fall out.
"What are these?" she asks.
"Uh... Well... They are... Uh... A new type of cigarette filter" the truck driver replies.
"Ahh... I See... Interesting... Well, What do you call em?"
"They are called rubbers, because they are made out of latex rubber.."
"And Where can you get these things?"
"You can get them at any pharmacy."
He lets her off at the next town, and she stops at the local pharmacy. "I'd like to buy a box of rubbers please" She asks the pharmacist. "Ok. What size would you like?"
"Big enough to fit a Camel".

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"' 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the--"' 'I didn't ask for any details,'' the lawyer interrupted.' 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?"' 'Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and was driving down the road--''' 'Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.'' By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and more...

A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful, he began to cry. A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. "I feel terrible," he explained, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it." The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit. Miraculously the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped down the more...

A lawyer was driving his big BMW down the highway, singing to himself, "I love my BMW, I love my BMW." Focusing on his car, not his driving, he smashed into a tree. He miraculously survived, but his car was a total write off. "My BMW! My BMW!" he sobbed. A good Samaritan drove by and cried out, "Sir, sir, you're bleeding - my God, your left arm is gone!" The lawyer, horrified, screamed, "My Rolex! My Rolex!"

There were three men. Joe, Rich, and Scott.
They were all camping in the woods, and they knew they had to stop for
the
night. Joe suggested they stop where they were right there, a nice
clear,
wooded area. Rich agreed, but Scott disagreed, because there was nothing
interesting around, only trees.
They kept hiking for a little longer, and came across a small clear area,
right next to the highway. Both Joe and Rich wanted to saty there because
there was no stumps, or moss around, and the sounds of the cars could
help
to put them asleep. Scott said no, because he found a small ant farm 500
meters away, and was scared the ants might come, and get them.
SO they kept hiking, and finally, they came to the end of the woods, and
stepped onto the highway. Scott was mystified, and wanted to sleep right
smack dab in the middle of the highway. It was interesting, and he wanted
to look at all the different liscence plates, as they more...

There were three men. Joe, Rich, and Scott. They were all camping in the woods, and they knew they had to stop forthenight. Joe suggested they stop where they were right there, a niceclear, wooded area. Rich agreed, but Scott disagreed, because there was nothinginteresting around, only trees. They kept hiking for a little longer, and came across a small clear area, right next to the highway. Both Joe and Rich wanted to saty there becausethere was no stumps, or moss around, and the sounds of the cars couldhelpto put them asleep. Scott said no, because he found a small ant farm 500meters away, and was scared the ants might come, and get them. SO they kept hiking, and finally, they came to the end of the woods, andstepped onto the highway. Scott was mystified, and wanted to sleep rightsmack dab in the middle of the highway. It was interesting, and he wantedto look at all the different liscence plates, as they drove by. Joe andRich were so upset, because, obviously, that was the LAST more...