Hike Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two Boy Scouts were picking hickory nuts while on a nature hike in the hills. They filled their pails to the brim and then began to fill their pockets. When they were unable to hold any more, they went down the country road and stopped when they came to a cemetery, deciding that would be a good place to rest and divide the nuts between them.
Sitting in the shade of an old oak tree, they emptied their pails and pockets by dumping all of the nuts in a large pile on the ground. In the process of doing this, two rolled away and rested by the road. The boys then proceeded to divide the nuts, "One for you. One for me. One for you. One for me."
As they were doing this, another boy was passing by and happened to hear them. He looked into the cemetery, but couldn't see the boys because they were hidden by the tree. He hesitated a moment and then ran back to town.
"Dad! Dad!" he yelled as he ran inside his house. "The cemetery. Come more...

These are actual comments left last year on Forest Service registration sheets and comment cards by backpackers completing wilderness camping trips:"A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call.""Escalators would help on steep uphill sections." "Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness.""Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands.""Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals.""All the mile markers are missing this year.""Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse.""Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill.""Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these more...

Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together, and they were getting a little testy.
One morning, the first friend says, "You know, we're starting to get on each other's nerves. Why don't we split up today.
I'll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south and spend the day. Then tonight, we'll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire."
The second friend agrees and hikes south. The first man hikes north.
That night over dinner, the first man tells his story, "Today I hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and ate lunch.
Then I swam in a crystal clear mountain lake. As I sat out and dried, I watched deer come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers were filled with butterflies and hawks floated all day overhead. How was your day?"
The second friend says, "I went south and ran across a set of railroad tracks. I followed them until I came across a beautiful more...

An old man saw a very tired infantryman resting after a hard foot march. The man said with disdain: "When I was of your age I thought nothing of a ten-mile hike."
"Well, I don't think much of it either," replied the GI.

Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together, and they were getting a little testy. One morning, the first friend says, "You know, we're starting to get on each other's nerves. Why don't we split up today. I'll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south and spend the day. Then tonight, we'll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire." The second friend agrees and hikes south. The first man hikes north.
That night over dinner, the first man tells his story. "Today I hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and ate lunch. Then I swam in a crystal clear mountain lake. As I sat out and dried, I watched deer come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers were filled with butterflies and hawks floated all day overhead. How was your day?"
The second friend says, "I went south and ran across a set of railroad tracks. I followed them until I came across a beautiful young woman tied to more...

Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together, and they were getting a little testy. One morning, the first friend says, "You know, we're starting to get on each other's nerves. Why don't we split up today. I'll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south and spend the day. Then tonight, we'll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire."
The second friend agrees and hikes south. The first man hikes north. That night over dinner, the first man tells his story.
"Today I hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and ate lunch. Then I swam in a crystal clear mountain lake. As I sat out and dried, I watched deer come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers were filled with butterflies and hawks floated all day overhead. How was your day?"
The second friend says, "I went south and ran across a set of railroad tracks. I followed them until I came across a beautiful young woman tied more...

Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together, and they were getting a little testy. One morning, the first friend says, "You know, we're starting to get on each other's nerves. Why don't we split up today.
I'll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south and spend the day. Then tonight, we'll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire."
The second friend agrees and hikes south. The first man hikes north.
That night over dinner, the first man tells his story.
"Today I hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and ate lunch. Then I swam in a crystal clear mountain lake. As I sat out and dried, I watched deer come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers were filled with butterflies and hawks floated all day overhead. How was your day?"
The second friend says, "I went south and ran across a set of railroad tracks. I followed them until I came across a beautiful young more...