Hike Jokes

A newly joined trainee engineer asks his boss "what is the meaning of appraisal?"
Boss: "Do you know the meaning of resignation? "
Trainee: "Yes I do"
Boss: "So let me make you understand what a appraisal is by comparing it with resignation"
Comparison study: Appraisal and Resignation
**********
In appraisal meeting they will speak only about your weakness, errors and failures.
In resignation meeting they will speak only about your strengths, past achievements and success.
**********
In appraisal you may need to cry and beg for even 10% hike.
In resignation you can easily demand (or get even without asking) more than 50-60% hike.
**********
During appraisal, they will deny promotion saying you didn't meet the expectation, you don't have leadership qualities, and you had several drawbacks in our objective/goal.
During resignation, they will say you are the core member of team; you more...

A guy falls asleep on the train and misses his stop. He gets
off at the end of the line and asks a cabbie how much a ride
to his crib would be.
"20 bucks, pal"
"Listen, I've got five on me and the rest at home."
"Take a hike, Pal."
The guy walks 15 miles home at 3: 00 a. m. plotting revenge the
whole way. The next night, he gets off at the same stop as the
night previous, and sees the same cabby third in a queue. He
asks the first driver in line how much the fare is..
"20 bucks."
"How about five and a blowjob?" he asked
"Take a friggin' hike you &$*# pansy"
He then asked the second driver in line how much the ride would
be "20 bucks"
He made the same proposition and received pretty much the same
response. He then hopped in the cab with the driver from the
night
before, handed him 25 bucks and drove away winking at the more...

Actual comments received in 1996 from the Bridger Wilderness registration sheets and comment cards: Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands. Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce world-wide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness. Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals. All the mile markers are missing this year. Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse. Trail needs to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill. Too many bugs and leaches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests. Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow during the winter. Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them. The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals. A small deer came more...

Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together,
and they were getting a little testy. One morning, the first
friend says, "You know, we're starting to get on each other's
nerves. Why don't we split up today.
I'll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south
and spend the day. Then tonight, we'll have dinner and share our
experiences over the campfire." The second friend agrees and
hikes south. The first man hikes north. That night over dinner,
the first man tells his story. "Today I hiked into a beautiful
valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and ate lunch. Then
I swam in a crystal clear mountain lake. As I sat out and dried,
I watched deer come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers
were filled with butterflies and hawks floated all day overhead.
How was your day?"
The second friend says, "I went south and ran across a set of
railroad tracks. I more...

Two Boy Scouts were picking hickory nuts while on a nature hike in the hills. They filled their pails to the brim and then began to fill their pockets. When they were unable to hold any more, they went down the country road and stopped when they came to a cemetery, deciding that would be a good place to rest and divide the nuts between them.
Sitting in the shade of an old oak tree, they emptied their pails and pockets by dumping all of the nuts in a large pile on the ground. In the process of doing this, two rolled away and rested by the road. The boys then proceeded to divide the nuts, "One for you. One for me. One for you. One for me."
As they were doing this, another boy was passing by and happened to hear them. He looked into the cemetery, but couldn't see the boys because they were hidden by the tree. He hesitated a moment and then ran back to town.
"Dad! Dad!" he yelled as he ran inside his house. "The cemetery. Come more...