Hillbilly Jokes / Recent Jokes

Hillbilly Herman was drafted, and on his first day as an enlisted man he was given a comb; the next day the army barber sheared off his hair. On the third day he was given a toothbrush; the next day the army dentist yanked several of his teeth. On the fifth day he was given a jockstrap; that afternoon Herman went AWOL.

A hillbilly was making his first visit to a hospital where his teenage son was about to have an operation.
Watching the doctor's every move, he asked, "What's that?"
The doctor explained, "This is an anesthetic. After he gets this he won't know any thing that's going on."
"Save your time, Doc," exclaimed the man.
"He don't know nothing now."

A hillbilly's old wife sent him to town to get something to rid the place of moths that had troubled them. The druggist sold him a box of mothballs.
Months later, the hill man came into the drugstore, complaining that: "Them mothballs wouldn't work nohow, noway. Marthy and me we aimed carefully, too. But we ain't hit a single moth! Maybe you got a bigger size, like one of them pool table balls."

A hillbilly walked into an attorneys office wanting to file for divorce. Attorney: "May I help you?" Hillbilly: "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces". Attorney: "Well do you have any grounds?" Hillbilly: "Yea, I got about a hundred acres." Attorney: "No, you dont understand, do you have a case?" Hillbilly: "No, I dont have a Case, but I have a John Deere." Attorney: "I mean, do you have a grudge?" Hillbilly: "Yea, I got a grudge. Thats where I park my John Deere." Attorney: "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?" Hillbilly: "Yes sir, I got a suit, I wear it to church on Sundays." Attorney: "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?" Hillbilly: "No sir, we both get up about 4: 30 in the morning." Attorney: "Well, is she a nagger or anything?!?!?!?" Hillbilly: "No shes a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger. Thats why I want this more...

A hillbilly dragged his protesting son to a new school which had just opened in a nearby village. When they arrived, he took his son to see the teacher.' Howdy,' said the hillbilly.' This here's my son, Arthur. Now what kind of learnin' are you teachin'?
' Oh, all the usual subjects,' said the teacher, nodding at the boy.' Reading, writing, arithmetic.'
' What's this? ' interrupted the father.' Arith.... arith... what did you say?'' Arithmetic, Sir,' said the teacher,' instruction in geometry, algebra and trigonometry.'
' Trigonometry!' cried the delighted hillbilly.' That's what my boy needs. He's the worst darn shot in the family.'

There was a reporter from the city stuck in a small mountainous town in W. Va. He decided to use the time by getting a good story to submit to his boss. He saw an old man sitting outside a local store and went over to begin the interview." Sir, I am writing a story about people in this area and would like to include an interesting story from you. Is there any particular story that you would like to share?" The old hillbilly smiled to himself as he thought back on a time. "Well, thar was the time I lost my sheep. We gathered up a bunch of the boys, got some moonshine in us and went off after it. When we found the sheep, we all took turns screwing it.... my, that was fun!"The reporter couldn't write a story about that so he asked for another." Well, when my neighbor's wife got lost, we all gathered up and got drunk and went out to look for her. We had a good time taking turns with her when we found her, too. Damn that was a lot of fun!"The reporter was more...

Gay Joke's, Hillbilly Joke's, Female Joke's and More.
Two gay gentlemen are walking through a zoo. They come across the
gorillas and after a while they notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection.
The gay men are fascinated by this. One of the men just can't bear it any longer and he reaches into the cage to touch it. The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and mates with him for six hours nonstop. When he's done, the gorilla throws the man back out of the cage.
An ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital. Next day his friend visits him in the hospital and asks, "Are you hurt?"
"AM I HURT?", he shouts, "Wouldn't you be? He hasn't called, he hasn't written...