Hit Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two priests are vacationing in Hawaii. They don't want to stand out, so they decide to buy casual clothes. They've just hit the beach in loud Hawaiian print T-shirts and sandals when they spot this hot blonde in a tiny bikini walking their way.

As she walks past them, she politely says, "Good afternoon, fathers." Well, the men are amazed, because they can't understand how the woman knew they were priests. They decide to go out and buy even wilder clothes, so they buy tie-died T-shirts, surfer shorts, and dark sunglasses.

The next day, they hit the beach in their wild new clothes, and the same blonde passes them in a string bikini. As she passes,

she says, "How do you do, fathers?"

Well, the two priests are really confused, so they ask the blonde, "Excuse me, ma'am. We're not ashamed of being priests, but how in the world did you know who we were?"

The blonde replies "Why, father, don't you more...

A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hoursto spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he wasabout to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked ifhe could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not beingable to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him. To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time. Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball - and directly between his ball and the green. After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree." With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the more...

Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?" "I don't know," responded the other. "I'll ask him." So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. "Why are we digging in the hot sun and you're standing in the shade?" "Intelligence," the boss said. "What do you mean, intelligence'?" The boss said, "Well, I'll show you. I'll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can." The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss' hand. The boss removed his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, "That's intelligence!" The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, "What did he say?" "He said we are down here because of intelligence." "What's intelligence?" said the friend. T he more...

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer getting hit by a car and a dog getting hit by a car?

A: There's skid marks before the dog.

Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that his partner had only one golf ball.
“Don’t you have at least one other golf ball? ” he asked. The other guy replied that he only needed one.
“Are you sure? ” the friend persisted. “What happens if you lose that ball? ”
The other guy replied, “This is a very special golf ball. I won’t lose it so I don’t need another one. ”
“Well, ” the friend asked, “what happens if you miss your shot and the ball goes in the lake? ”
“That’s okay, ” he replied, “this special golf ball floats. I’ll be able to retrieve it. ”
“Well what happens if you hit it into the trees and it gets lost among the bushes and shrubs?
“The other guy replied, “That’s okay too. You see, this special golf ball has a homing beacon. I’ll be able to get it back - no problem. ”
Exasperated, the friend asks, “Okay. Let’s say our game goes late, more...

A man walked into the bar and there was a gorillasitting on a barstool. The man asked the bartender what the gorilla wasdoing in the bar so the bartender showed him. Hetook out a bat and hit the gorilla over the headwith it. The animal instantly dropped down andgave the bartender blow job. The Bartender then asked the man if he would liketo try it. The man said "Sure, but please don't hit me quiteso hard".

Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and very tired. "Bad day at the course?" his wife asked.

"Everything was going fine," he said. "Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee."

"Oh, that's awful!"

"You're not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry."