Hoe Jokes / Recent Jokes
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?
Santa Clues!
What do the reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!
What do you call a man who claps at Christmas?
Santapplause!
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
Why does Father Christmas like to work in the garden?
Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!
Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas?
Because they both have "Sandy claws"!
What's Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?
Santa pause!
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?
Santa Clues! Father Christmas wins a saucepan in a competition.
Now that`s what you call pot luck! What do the reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow! What do you call a man who claps at Christmas?
Santapplause! Twinkle Twinkle chocolate bar
Santa drives a rusty car
Press the starter
Press the choke
Off he goes in a cloud of smoke! Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws! Why does Father Christmas like to work in the garden?
Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe! Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas?
Because they both have "Sandy claws"! What does Father Christmas call his money?
Iced lolly? What`s Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?
Santa pause!
Jhonny is 18 and in the 8th grade. Homework is hard for him.
One day, Jhonny got an easy homework assignment that required
him to put each of the following vocabulary words in a
sentence. Here's what he wrote, Ebonic style.
1. HOTEL - I gave my girlfriend da crabs and the' hotel' everybody.
2. RECTUM - I had two Caddilacs, but my ol'lady' rectum' both.
3. DISAPPOINTMENT - My parole officer tol'me if I mess' disappontment'
they gonna send me back to the big house.
4. FORECLOSE - If I pay ailmoney this month, I'll have no money
' foreclose'
5. CATACOMB - Don King was at the fight the other night, Man, somebody
give that' cata omb.'
6. ISRAEL - Alonso tried to sell me a Rolex, I said Man, that looks
fake. He said No' israel.'
7. UNDERMINE - There's fine lookin' hoe livin' in the apartment
' undermine.'
8. TRIPOLI - I was gonna my ol'lady a bra, but I couldn't find' tripoli.'
9. STAIN - My mother-in-law more...
Q. Why does Santa Claus like to work in the garden?
A. Because he like to hoe, hoe, hoe!
If athletes get athlete's foot, astronauts get missile toe. A bird dog could be called a point setter. James Fenimore Cooper wrote about the life of Santa Claus in his novel The Deer Sleigher. What's the difference between a one-winged angel and a two-winged angel? It's a matter of a pinion! It's a matter of my opinion that Yule love the game we're about to play. In each sentence below, fill in the blank or blanks with an expression commonly used at Christmastide. Answers repose at the end of this column. 1. On December 24, Adam's wife was known as _____ _____. 2. In Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol, Scrooge was visited by the ghost of _____ _____. 3. An opinion survey in Alaska is called a _____ _____. 4. What does Santa Claus do with his three gardens? _____, _____, _____5. What Christmas message is conveyed by these letters?: ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. _____, _____6. When the salt and the pepper say "Hi!" to each other, they are passing on _____ _____. 7. A holy man more...
Q. Why did the farmer sell his frog leg ranch?
A. He found out it was a' rough toad to hoe.'
Why did santa's little helper become a prostitute?
Because she was a hoe hoe hoe with low elf asteem.