Holy Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Texan goes to Toronto for a vacation. There he grabs a cab at the airport and says he's on his way to The Royal York Hotel. The Cabby heads downtown on his way he passes Queens Park,"What's that" says the Texan"Oh! That's Queens Park" says the Cabby, "Its our Provincial Government, its like your State Government" Those buildings are almost 200 years old and they are quite big". Oh! We have buildings much older than that and at least twice as large" says the Texan. They continue along and past First Canadian Place." Holy cow" says the Texan "What's that"?" Why that's First Canadian Place, its the biggest office complex in the country" says the Cabby " it took almost 4 years to build"." Really" says the Texan "Why in Houston they have buildings twice that big, and built in less than 1/2 the time"They continue on the way, the cabby a little miffed at the bragging, when they drive past more...
one day the tramps callled USA occupied a holy land after polluting it theu turned around to pollute other holy lands of the soldiers of Allah poor guys they don, t what is waiting for them the HILL.
Four nuns were standing in line at the gates of heaven. Peter asks the first if she has ever sinned. "Well, once I looked at a man's penis," she said. "Put some of this holy water on your eyes and you may enter heaven," Peter told her. Peter then asked the second nun if she had ever sinned. "Well, once I held a man's penis," she replied. "Put your hand in this holy water and you may enter heaven," he said. Just then the fourth nun pushed ahead of the third nun. Peter asked her, "Why did you push ahead in line?" She said, "Because I want to gargle before she sits in it!"
there were three nuns who were always in trouble one day the first nun came up to the preacher and said,"preacher, preacher I did something very bad. the preacher said what did you do? The nun said, "I held up a grocery store and stole 50$, bag of chips, and a pack of bubble gum. The paster said, "ask god to forgive you and drink from the holy water. so she did. The next day the second nun went to the pastor and said, "pastor, pastor, i did something very bad and the pastor said what did you do? the nun said i killed someone. the pastor said,"ask god to forgive you and drink from the holy water so she did. the next day the third nun said," pastor, pastor, i did something very bad the pastor said,"what did you do the nun said,"i peed in the holy water
holy mother ful of grace,
bless my boyfriends gorgeousface,
keep him safe from all the girls,
bless his arms, that are so strong,
keep his hands were they belong,
bless his dick the one i sucked,
bless the bed in which we fucked,
and if my my mom happened to walk in bless the shit that id be in.
A lawyer and two friends--a Rabbi, and a Hindu holy man--had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.
The farmer said, "There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep in the house. So one of you must sleep in the barn."
"No problem," chimed the Rabbi. "My people wandered in the desert for forty years. I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for one evening." With that he departed to the barn, and the others bedded down for the night.
Moments later a knock was heard at the door; the farmer opened the door. There stood the Rabbi from the barn. "What's wrong?" asked the farmer. He replied, "I am grateful to you, but I just can't sleep in the barn. There is a pig in the barn, and my faith believes that is an unclean animal."
His Hindu friend agrees to swap places with him. But a few minutes later the same scene reoccurs. There is a knock on the more...