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She is proud because he has been staying away from the bars for 3 months. But suddenly, she realizes she forgot the escargot. Just as he comes home, she asks him to go get some at the store to finish her wonderful candlelight dinner. She says she'll make it worth his while. So off he goes to the fresh market, and buys a dozen live snails. But on the way home, his friends fall out of the bar and see him with his paper sack, and call to him, "Come on, George! Come have a drink on us!" "No," says George. "I must get these fresh escargot home." "Oh, come on, Georgie old boy. Just one for old times sake." Well, George is weak, and agrees to just one. Then another. Then a third. After too many, he sees his paper sack and feels sorry for his lapse, and heads home. Just as he is walking up to his driveway, he falls and spills the contents onto the cement, and his wife opens the door to see what all the commotion is. "George, what is going on? What more...

A girl came home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we
were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four,
but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home again. "Mommy, Mommy," she
yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids
could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, b, c, d, e, f, g!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she
yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the
other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her more...

A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl said.
"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mommy.
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy,"
she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy,"
she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she more...

You know that Camp doesnt mean a cabin in the woods. The men in your family were gardeners, farmers or produce workers. The women in your family were seamstresses, domestic workers or farm laborers. Your Issei grandparents had an arranged marriage. One of your relatives was a "picture bride." You have Nisei relatives named Tak, Tad, George, Harry or Shig. You have Nisei relatives named Keiko, Aiko, Sumi or Mary. Youre Sansei and your name is Janice, Glen, Brian, Bill or Kenji. Youre thinking of naming your Yonsei child, Brittany, Jenny, Lauren, Garett or Brett, with a Japanese middle name. All of your cousins are having hapa kids. You have relatives who live in Hawaii. You belong to a Japanese credit union Wherever you live now, you always come home to the Obon festival. The bushes in your front yard are trimmed into balls. You have a kaki tree in the backyard. You have at least one bag of sembei in the house at all times. You have a Japanese doll in a glass case in your more...

Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him."So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home."Great," Little Johnny replied."Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother."Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"

one day morton wanted to go fishing so he goes to his friends and say "im goin fishing fishing today does anyone want to come?"so one chick says "yeah i will"so the next day they were on the way to the river and they came acroos a little man and he said "up or down" so the chick strips down and bangs the little man.Then they keep going and get to the spot and mortons like cool let fish and the chicks like "nah its to dark lets go home. so they go home and they go back fishing the next day and come to the little man. and he says "up or down" and the blondes like "what?" and the little mans like "last time you got down and dirty with me. and the blonde says "yesterday i fogot my hearing aid i thought ya said fuck or drown.:P

Marty and Jane were driving home after an expensive - yet bland -
dinner. Since Marty's minor heart attack 15 years ago, Jane had kept
her hubby on a strict, low sodium, low fat, low cholesterol diet,
depriving him of all the foods he loved.
As Marty turned the corner at a busy intersection, another car slammed
into theirs, killing Marty and Jane instantly.
St. Peter greeted the couple at the Pearly Gates and took them on a
tour of Heaven. Their first stop was a luxury mansion, "Your new
home," St. Peter told them.
Looking at the expensive marble floors, Marty asked, "How much is this
going to cost us?"
"Nothing," St. Peter replied. "Everything is free in Heaven."
Next, they visited their new championship-style golf course.
"This is your private golf course," St. Peter said. "It changes daily,
representing the greatest golf courses on Earth."
"What are the green more...