"Morton goes fishing" joke

one day morton wanted to go fishing so he goes to his friends and say "im goin fishing fishing today does anyone want to come?"so one chick says "yeah i will"so the next day they were on the way to the river and they came acroos a little man and he said "up or down" so the chick strips down and bangs the little man.Then they keep going and get to the spot and mortons like cool let fish and the chicks like "nah its to dark lets go home. so they go home and they go back fishing the next day and come to the little man. and he says "up or down" and the blondes like "what?" and the little mans like "last time you got down and dirty with me. and the blonde says "yesterday i fogot my hearing aid i thought ya said fuck or drown.:P

2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.
He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20, more...

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Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan make your garden grow better! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan disorderly again! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan buscuits in more...

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Dear Mom and Dad,
Our scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two of our sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily none us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for more...

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What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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