Hong Jokes / Recent Jokes
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations. Sign in a Hong Kong supermarket: "For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service." Sign at fast-food place: "PARKING FOR DRIVE-THRU CUSTOMERS ONLY!" Sign outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: "Ladies may have a fit upstairs." Sign in a Rhodes tailor shop: "Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation." Sign from the Soviet Weekly: "There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years." Sign in an East African newspaper: "A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers." Sign in a Vienna hotel: "In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter." Sign in an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: "Teeth extracted by the latest more...
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Sign in a Hong Kong supermarket: "For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service."
Sign at fast-food place: "PARKING FOR DRIVE-THRU CUSTOMERS ONLY!"
Sign outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: "Ladies may have a fit upstairs."
Sign in a Rhodes tailor shop: "Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."
Sign from the Soviet Weekly: "There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15, 000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years."
Sign in an East African newspaper: "A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers."
Sign in a Vienna hotel: "In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel more...
If King Kong went to Hong Kong to play ping-gong and died, what would they put on his coffin? A lid.
Why didn't King Kong go to Hong Kong? He didn't like Chinese food.
Recently my girlfriend's son lost his phone charger. So, she got inthe car and went out in search of a new charger to fit his phone. Most chargers were around $19 to $26 and we were unable to find one that definately fit his phone model. Then she hopped on the internet to find the one we needed and find the cheapest. Three or four minutes later she found the charger we needed for $4.99 plus $2.99 for shipping and handling. Obviously she's very excited she found it and it is very cheap, so she orders it. Today, the charger is delivered to the house. It came from Hong Kong. Why am I telling you about this. Think about this. It cost $7.98 for a charger that travelled about 9000 miles which is less than half of what it would cost to run to Wal-Mart and get it. I get the sense that in Hong Kong and China they make everything for about a penny. Cell phone, one penny, radio, one penny, toaster oven, one penny, microwave, one penny, new car, one penny, having a charger delivered with all of more...
Real Subtitles from Hong Kong Movies -------------------------------------
1. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.
2. You with your thick face have hurt my instep.
3. Gun wounds again?
4. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.
5. A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.
6. Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!
7. Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.
8. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?
9. Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.
10. You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.
11. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!
12. You daring lousy guy.
13. Beat him out of recognizable shape!
14. I have been scared sh*tless too much lately.
15. I got knife scars more than the number of more...
Viagra story in Hong KongSCMP newspaper report in Hong Kong:
In a swindle people in Hong Kong are being invited to apply to act as testers for Viagra (not yet licensed here) by phoning a number for which they are then charged international rates. No such clinical trials exist.
The headline reads: "Phoney Viagra line stiffs callers"