Honour Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Pakistani soldier was caught trespassing in the private quarter of a home. The houseowner hauled him out into the street and both he and his son began to thrash him. A passerby joined them. The military police rescued the soldier and arrested the three men. They were arraigned before a military court.
Assaulting a man in military uniform is a very serious crime, punishable by death,' said the presiding officer to the three accused.' What explanations have you to offer as extenuating circumstances?'
The elderly houseowner replied:' Sir, I caught this man trying to molest my daughter. The honour of a Pakistani daughter is more sacred than one's life.'
'Quite right!', agreed the presiding officer.' And what do you have to say?', He asked the houseowner's son.
'Sir, this fellow was. trying to take liberties with my sister. The honour of a Pakistani sister is more precious that one's life/ he replied.
'Quite right!' agreed the presiding officer, and turned to the more...

A DONKEY was in the witness box. The cross-
examining lawyer addressing the court said, "Your
Honour, this gadha......" The witness shouted, "Your
Honour, I object to the insinuation."
The judge said-"But aren't you one?" The witness clarified, "It is not the word that matters. It is the manner in which the word is uttered and the meaning sought to be conveyed that matters."
The judge ruled-"Objection sustained."

A MAN was hauled up in court for beating his neighbour. The magistrate demanded:' Did you beat up your neighbour?'
'Yes, Your Honour, he called me a Punjabi rascal.'
'So what?'
'Your Honour, if he had called you a Bengali or Madrasi rascal, or the type of rascal you really are, wouldn't you have beaten him up?'

Your honour, I am 75 years old. So here I am, sitting there on my porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sits beside me. He starts to rub my thigh, and it feels good, Your Honour. So I don't stop him, and he begins to rub my old breasts, Your Honour. Why, Your Honour, I haven't felt that good in years! So I just spread my old legs and say to him, "Take me, young man, Take me!" That's when he yelled, "April Fool" and that's when I shot the Fucking Son of a Bitch!!

Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing. "Your honour," he said, "I wanna get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine." "Why? " asked the judge. "He won your acquittal. Why do you want to have him arrested?" "Well, your honour," replied Carlson, "I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole."