Hood Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were "protecting." Feeling the heat from the police force, they decide to use a deaf person for this job. If he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was doing. Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $40, 000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place. The Mafia soon realizes that their collection is late, and sends someo of their hoods after the deaf collector. The hoods find the deaf collector and ask him where the money is. The deaf collector can't communicate with them, so the Mafia drags the guy to an interpreter. The Mafia hood says to the interpreter, "Ask him where da money is." The interpreter signs, "Where's the money?" The deaf man replies, "I don't know what you're talking about." The interpreter tells the hood, "He says he doesn't know more...

there were two blondies at a gas station and locked their car with the hood open so when they went out to put their chips in the car. They tried to open the door, but it was stuck.
the 2nd blonde said "
try busting the door open"
the 1st blonde said "
nah i dont want to smudge the paint on the car.
so the 2nd blonde suggested "
ask the cop over there"
so the 1st blonde asked him and the cop said "
sure why not"
.
the cop says to both of the blondes "
the hood is open and the windows are down"
the blondes say "
WE KNOW! we just want to get the car unlocked"
so The cop Just Leaves And everyone looks at them like they are stupid. so they never figured how to open the car door ever.

The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections fromall the private businesses that they were protecting. Feeling the heat from the police force, they decided to use a deafperson for this job. If he were to get caught, he wouldnt be able tocommunicate to the police what he was doing. Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $50, 000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place. The Mafia soon realizes that their collection is late, and sends someof their hoods after the deaf collector. The hoods find the deafcollector and ask him where the money is. The deaf collector cantcommunicate with them, so the Mafia drags the guy to an interpreter. The Mafia hood says to the interpreter, "Ask him where the money is."The interpreter signs, "Wheres the money?" r The deaf replies, "I dont know what youre talking about." Theinterpreter tells the hood, "He says he doesnt know what youretalking more...

there were two blondies at a gas station and locked their car with the hood open so when they went out to put their chips in the car. They tried to open the door, but it was stuck.
the 2nd blonde said "
try busting the door open"
the 1st blonde said "
nah i dont want to smudge the paint on the car.
so the 2nd blonde suggested "
ask the cop over there"
so the 1st blonde asked him and the cop said "
sure why not"
.
the cop says to both of the blondes "
the hood is open and the windows are down"
the blondes say "
WE KNOW! we just want to get the car unlocked"
so The cop Just Leaves And everyone looks at them like they are stupid. so they never figured how to open the car door everagain

Why did Robin Hood steal from the rich? Because the poor didnt have any!

Son: Pop... what is the Ramayan stuff that all my friends in school talk about.. Pop: So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him. But, like, his step mom, or somethin', was kind of a bitch, and she forced her husband to, like, you know, send this cool dude, he was Ram, to some national forest or reserve or somethin'. Since he was going, for like, somethin' like more than 10 years or so, he decided to take his wife and his bro along. You know... so that they could all chill out together. But dude, the forest was reeeeeeal scary shit, really man, they had monkeys and devils and shit like that. But this dude, Ram, kicked their ass with darts, bows and arrows, so it was fine. But then some bad boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, were our man, and his bro Lakshman, pissed! And you don't piss this son-of-a-gunz' coz, he just kicks ass and like, all the gods were with him. So anyways, you don't mess with more...

What do you call Toys R' Us in the hood? We B Toyz N' Shit