Hooks Jokes / Recent Jokes

Hire people with hooks.
-National Lampoon's Deteriorota

Why should you use six hooks on your fishing line? eFISHancy!

A young zealous boy wanted desperately to work at a department store. He approached the store manager who responded they needed no help. Quite persistent, the boy returned again and again until the manager finally said "We're having a holiday sale tomorrow. Why don't you show up and you can give it a try." The elated boy returned the following day and proceeded to sell. At the end of the day the store manager called the youngster over and asked how he had done. The boy responded that he had sold $79, 083. 50 worth of merchandise. The manager asked how he had done so well. The young man said, "Well this guy was going fishing so I asked if he wanted some fish hooks, he said sure, That is $1. 50. I asked if he had a nice fishing pole, he said no, so I got a graphite extension pole for $43. 50. Do you have a nice reel, not yet replied the customer... so I got him a nice quick release reel for $35. 00. I asked here he was going fishing and he said Strawberry Reservoir. I more...

40% Presents:

6% Presents with no useful functions.
4% Presents with a function, but which will never be used.
10% Presents the recipient will say they like, but really hate.
11% Presents you really want for yourself, and plan to use after
the intended recipients get tired of them.
6% Presents for people you hate, but feel you have to buy for.
3% T-shirts with writings on them.
* Presents you really like and can use
* Too small a % to be statistically significant.

21% Decorations:

6% Christmas tree (less if you're really cheap and wait till
Dec. 24th to buy it!).
1% Christmas tree lights to replace the ones that burned out
last year.
1% Christmas tree lights to replace the ones you stepped on
this year.
2% Christmas tree ornaments.
3% Christmas tree ornament hooks (includes the gas for that
extra trip you always have to make back to store because
there weren't enough more...

Told to me by my wife, and to her by a colleague.
Two men are talking at work Monday morning.
"What did you do this weekend?"
"Dropped hooks into water."
"Fishing, eh?"
"No, golfing."