Hope Jokes / Recent Jokes

A is for Arteries.
You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for you you twit she was only after your money and could have given a damn about you.
B is for Bitter.
Who, me? No way. I really hope things between them do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!!
C is for Call you later.
She won't. She never has before.
D is for Dumped.
Does D need to be explained?
E is for Eating like a pig.
Remember when you took her out and she said "I'm not hungry" so you figured you could take her to a nice place because you were able to afford a nice meal at this fine restaurant. Then she ate more than your Uncle Roy (you remember Uncle Roy the one with the mustard stains on everything). So you flip the bill and are broke for the next two weeks and she more...

I hope youre not one of those pupils who spends all day on the Net and doesnt get any exercise. Oh, no, miss, I often sit around watching TV and not getting exercise either.

Tondo, Manila
May 16, 1957 Dearest Pal. Hello! How's life going on there. I hope that you are in good health upon receiving my letter or may be you got suspened "coz" you did not expect that you can receive a letter from me. But before the world prolong into a line may I ask first you a gretest apology if ever I disturb you rest and relaxation expecially that when you are in concentration of you studying. And at the same time Pal, I greet you pleasant hello. I hope you can enjoing your life there. Pal, maybe you ask to yourself there if were came I know your name. By the pal, I found your name from column of song hit. And then I decide to make this letter for the reason that I want also a friend in other places so don't think any malice here my lettter okey!. But before I go to further may I introduce first my simple personality to you. Well....... beginning for the love of my parent they got a boy and have a name. My name is Joseph Marcelo Ejercito a fourth year high more...

A is for Arteries.
You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped
out because she really didn't care for you you twit
she was only after your money and could have given
a poo about you.
B is for Bitter.
Who, me? No way. I really hope things between them
do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!!
C is for Call ya later.
She won't. She never has before.
D is for Dumped.
Does D need to be explained?
E is for Eating like a pig.
Remember when you took her out and she said "I'm not
hungry" so you figured you could take her to a nice
place because you were able to afford a nice meal at
this fine restaurant. Then she ate more than your
Uncle Roy (you remember Uncle Roy the one with the mustard stains on everything). So you flip the bill and are broke for more...

(Hear are some real answers/comments given by kids about love)
1) HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS EATING DINNER AT A RESTAURANT
ARE IN LOVE?
"Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can
tell if he's in love." - Bobby, age 9
"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food
will get cold... Other people care more about the food."
- Bart, age 9
"Romantic adults usually are all dressed up, so if they are
just wearing jeans it might mean they used to go out or
they just broke up." - Sarah, age 9
"See if the man has lipstick on his face." - Sandra, age 7
"It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on
fire. They like to order those because it's just like how
their hearts are --- on fire." - Christine, age 9
2) TITLES OF THE LOVE BALLADS YOU CAN SING TO YOUR BELOVED
"'How Do I Love Thee When You're Always Picking Your more...

It took four years from the time George Herbert Walker Bush became President in 1988 for him to generate enough examples of his legendary verbal confusion to justify publishing a book of "Bushisms".
His son took 22 days. President Bush's murder of meaning seems to occur almost daily and has spoiled followers of verbal obfuscation for choice. Among recent highlights of his ability to baffle, bemuse and entertain have been:
"I understand small business growth. I was one."
"I know that the human being and fish can co-exist peacefully."
"There's no such thing as legacies. At least, there is a legacy, but I'll never see it."
"Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment."
"I haven't had a chance to ask the questioners the question they've been questioning."
"I hope the ambitious realise that more...

*Madam:*


I am an older young uncle living only with myself in Lahore. Having seen

your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on
you and hope you will take me nicely. I am a soiled son from inside
Punjab. I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing
hardly also. Especially I like cricket and I am a good batter and I am a
fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start
running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce alot.

I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly.
I am gay. Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am
always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get
on top. That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits. I am not
drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. more...