Horny Jokes / Recent Jokes
This guy decides to join the Navy. On his first day of service, he gets acquainted with all the facilities around the ship he will be serving on. The guy asks the sailor showing him around, "What do you guys do around here when you get really horny after months of being out at sea?", to which the other replies, "Well, there is this barrel on the upper deck, just pump your cock in the side with the hole."
Weeks pass, and the new guy is getting real horny and remembers the barrel. He climbs to the upper deck and sees the barrel. Flings his shlong out and starts fucking the barrel. It's simply the best feeling he had ever experienced, it was truly a success!
After he was done, zipped up and merrily walking along, the guy who originally told him about the barrel walks by. "That barrel really was great! I could do it every day!"
To which the other crew member replies, "Yeah, you can every day except Thursday." Confused, the new guy asks more...
One day Superman is really horny and sees Wonder Woman sunbathing on a beach naked! He gets an idea... "They've always said I'm faster than a speeding bullet and I've always wondered what she'd be like with all her powers. So he zooms down and does her in a flash and is gone before anyone can notice. All of a sudden WonderWoman sits up and says, "What the was that!?!". Then the Invisible Man gets off her and replies, "I don't know but it hurt like hell!"
This guy decides to join the Navy. On his first day of service, he gets aquatinted with all the facilities around the ship he will be serving on. The guy asks the sailor showing him around, "What do you guys do around here when you get really horny after months of being out at sea?", to which the other replies, "Well, there is this barrel on the upper deck, just pump your cock in the side with the hole."
Weeks pass, and the new guy is getting real horny and remembers the barrel. He climbs to upper deck and sees the barrel. Flings his shlong out and starts fucking the barrel. Its simply the best feeling he had ever experienced, it was truly a success!
After he was done, zipped up and merrily walking along, the guy who originally told him about the barrel walks by. "That barrel really was great! I could do it every day!"
To which the other crew member replies, "Yeah, you can every day except Thursday." Confused, more...
A guy has a horny parrot. It's terrible. Every time he reaches into the cage, the bird humps his arm. He invites his mother to tea, and the bird keeps saying foul things. Finally he takes the parrot to a vet.
The vet examines the bird extensively, says, "Well, you have a horny male parrot. I have a sweet young female bird, and for fifteen dollars your bird can go in the cage with mine."
The guy's parrot is listening and says, "Come on! Come on! What are you waiting for?"
Finally, the guy says "All right" and hands over the fifteen dollars.
The vet takes the parrot, puts him in the cage with the female bird, closes the curtain.
Suddenly, "Kwah! Kwah! Kwah!" The cage starts shaking and feathers come flying out.
The vet says, "Holy gee," and runs across the room and opens the curtain.
The male bird has the female bird down on the bottom of the cage with one claw. With the other claw he's pulling out all her more...
A horny young man went to a brothel...The lady at the counter asked him what his choice would be. The man wanted to know what was available.
Madam, "On the first floor, we have the ex-models... they are all slinky and sexy... On the second floor, we have our ex-actresses...they are all buxom and beautiful... On the third floor, we have our ex-teachers....they..."
Man, "Say no more! Lead me to the third floor."
Madam, "Are you sure... I'm surprised that you would prefer ex-teachers to ex-models and ex-actresses."
Man, "It's obvious, ma'am, teachers always make you do a thing over and over again, until you're perfect at it."
One horny man was crossing the desert. He was very horny and
glad to see a camel. He wanted to have SEX with this camel!!
He tried his best but, the camel got scared and started to run
around. But the horny man didn't giveup!
While he was running around with the camel, he saw an airplane
coming down. It was a disaster!!! Everybody died except this
ONE pretty air hostest!
She is very sexy...
He saved her life. The pretty lady thanked him and said " you
saved my life... I am ready to do anything for you." He was so
happy. He asked the pretty woman... "are you sure... you are
ready to do anything... for me...". She said, "yes... anything."
The man replied..."could you please hold this camel for me."