Horse Jokes / Recent Jokes
A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding assisted without any experience or lessons.
She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.
Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip.
She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but slides down the side of the horse anyway.
The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup.
She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again.
As her head is battered against the ground, she is moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Todd, the Wall-Mart Manager, runs out to more...
Once Santa And Banta Bought 2 Horses. But They Were Very Confused. They Were Troubled Because They Could Not Recognise Their Horses. After Some Time Santa Hit Upon An Idea. He Said That He Would Cut The Tail Of His Horse. Banta Said O. K. But Banta Had The Disease Of Night Walking. He Got Up In Night And Cut The Tail Of His Own Horse Too. In The Morning Both Of Them Were Surprised To See That The Tail Of Bantas Horse Wetre Notthere. Then Tehy Were Agin Troubled. Thistime Santa Had The Idea To Cut The Legs Of His Horse. But That Idea Also Failed. Then Both Of Them Started Thinking Seriously. Then Banta Said That, "I Have An Idea". Santa Asked What. Then Banta Told Him That," I Will Take The Black Horse And You Will Take The White Horse
A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy named "Clint", and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to Clint, "You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a day for three days. On sundown of third day, you die. What is first wish?" Clint says, "I want to see my horse." The Indians get his horse. Clint grabs the horse's ear and whispers something, then slaps the horse on the ass. The horse takes off. Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked blonde. She jumps off the horse and goes into the teepee with Clint. The Indians look at each other, figuring, "Typical white man - can only think of one thing." The second day, the chief says, "What your wish today?" Clint says, "I want to see my horse again." The Indians bring him his horse. Clint leans over to the horse and whispers something in the horse's ear, then slaps it on the ass. Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked more...
What happened to the man who owned a riding academy? Business kept falling off!
While entertaining himself in Shanglin Garden, Emperor Wu Di of the Han Dynasty pointed at a tree and asked Dongfang Shuo, "What is that called?" "It's called Goodness." replied Dongfang Shuo carelessly. Wu Di had it written down. Several years later, playing in the garden again, Wu Di saw the tree and turned to Dongfang Shuo to ask its name. "it's named Jusuo (Overlooking all)." said Dongfang Shuo again carelessly. Wu Di's expression changed, "You have been cheating me over the years. How can the same tree have different names?" Dongfang Shuo defended himself with fervor and assurance "A horse is called horse only when it grows up; it is a foal when young; chicken is the name for a chick when it becomes older; and a cow is called a calf when born. So it is with human beings: They are called infants when born and old men when aged. The tree was Goodness several years ago and is now Overlooking-All. All the objects in the universe change. more...
A man had just got his car stuck in a mudhole during a drive in the country and he needed help getting it out. So he walked until he found a farm and asked the farmer for help. The farmer agrees to help the guy out. So he takes a horse out of the stable and leads him to the car. The farmer then ties a harness around the horse and the other end to the car.
The farmer yells, "Pull, Sandy!"
The horse just stands there.
The farmer yells, "Come on now, pull Twister!"
The horse once again just stands there.
Finally the farmer yells, "Ok dangit, PULL RANGER! You're just standing there!"
Finally the horse springs forward and with all the strength he has he pulls the car out of the ditch and onto the roadside.
The man thanks the farmer many times, but before leaving asks the farmer why he yelled out names of horses that weren't there.
The farmer just smiles and replies, "Oh, you see Ranger there is completely blind and a lazy more...
One day a guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "if you can make that horse over there laugh you can have free drinks for the rest of the night". So he says "ok" and walks over to the horse and whispers something in his ear and he starts laughing and the bartender gives him free drinks for the rest of the night. The next night the same guy comes back in and the bartender says "if you can make that horse over there cry i will give you free drinks for the rest of the night. So he walks over there and does something and the horse starts crying, and the bartender gives him free drinks. Then the bartender asks what the man did to make the horse laugh and what he did to make him cry. The man says "To make him laugh I told him I had a bigger dick than he does and to make him cry I showed him".