Horses Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man and woman where on their honeymoon after a long and very happy courtship. On their honeymoon, they decide to take their horses through the beautiful mountain passes of Europe. As the horses were crossing a small stream, the woman's horse stumbles and jostles the man's wife. Once across the stream, the man dismounts, walks over to the horse, and stares into its eyes and says, "That's one."The man remounts his horse and they continue their ride.A bit further down the path, the woman's horse stumbles when stepping over a fallen tree. The man dismounts, stares the horse in the eyes, and boldly states, "That's two!"He returns to his saddle and they move on.As the afternoon sun began to set, the woman's horse once again lost its footing on a mossy slope. The man dismounts, moves to the woman's horse, and helps his wife out of the saddle the man. Moving to the front of the horse he stares it in the eyes and firmly says, "That's three," removes a pistol more...

A blonde buys two horses and she can't tell them apart. So she asks the farmer next door what to do. He says to cut one of their tails off. So she does. But then the other horse's tail gets caught in a bush and rips off. So she can't tell them apart again.
She asks the farmer for advice a second time. He tells her to cut one of the horses ears. So she does. But then the other horse gets its ear ripped in a barbed wire fence.
She is still confused. She asks the farmer what to do. He tells her to measure them.
She comes back and says, "The white horse is 2 inches taller than the black horse!"

A man and woman where on their honeymoon after a long and very happy courtship. On their honeymoon, they decide to take their horses through the beautiful mountain passes of Europe. As the horses were crossing a small stream, the woman's horse mis-steps and jostles the man's wife. Once across the stream, the man dismounts, walks over to the horse, and stares into its eyes. Finally, he states, "That's one." The man remounts his horse and they continue their ride. A bit further down the path, the woman's horse stumbles when stepping over a fallen tree. The man dismounts, stares the horse in the eyes, and boldly states, "That's two!" He returns to his saddle and they move on. As the afternoon sun began to set, the woman's horse once again lost its footing on a mossy slope. The man dismounts, moves to the woman's horse, and helps his wife out of the saddle the man. Moving to the front o f the horse he stares it in the eyes and firmly says, "That's three," more...

Some people just seem to have a lot of luck. A friend of mine is one of those card players who can almost always draw whatever he needs to win a hand in poker, but loses big time at the races.
I asked him about this once and he replied, "Well. .. they won't let me shuffle the horses."

A man and woman where on their honeymoon after a long and very happy courtship. On their honeymoon, they decide to take their horses through the beautiful mountain passes of Europe. As the horses were crossing a small stream, the woman's horse stumbles and jostles the man's wife. Once across the stream, the man dismounts, walks over to the horse, and stares into its eyes and says, "That's one." The man remounts his horse and they continue their ride. A bit further down the path, the woman's horse stumbles when stepping over a fallen tree. The man dismounts, stares the horse in the eyes, and boldly states, "That's two!"He returns to his saddle and they move on. As the afternoon sun began to set, the woman's horse once again lost its footing on a mossy slope. The man dismounts, moves to the woman's horse, and helps his wife out of the saddle the man. Moving to the front of the horse he stares it in the eyes and firmly says, "That's three," removes a pistol more...

Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I`ve won 8 of them!"

Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I`ve won 19!!"

"Oh that`s good, but in the last 36 races, I`ve won 28!", says another, flicking his tail.

At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. "I don`t mean to boast," says the greyhound, "but in my last 90 races, I`ve won 88 of them!"

The horses are clearly amazed. "Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence. "A talking dog."

They’re boasting about race records
Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. “In the last 15 races, I’ve won 8 of them! ”Another horse breaks in, “Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!! ”"Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 28! ”, says another, flicking his tail. At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. “I don’t mean to boast, ” Says the greyhound, “but in my last 90 races, I’ve won 88 of them! ”The horses are clearly amazed. “Wow! ” says one, after a hushed silence. “A talking dog. ”