Horses Jokes / Recent Jokes
It is illegal for hens to lay eggs before 8 am and after 4 pm in Norfolk, Virginia.
Ducks quacking after 10 pm in Essex Falls, New Jersey are breaking the law.
In Quitman, Georgia, it is against the law for a chicken to cross any road within the city limits.
In McDonald, Ohio, farmers cannot march a goose down a city street. And fowl, particularly roosters, are prohibited from going into bakeries in Massachusetts.
In Kansas, it is illegal for chicken thieves to work during daylight hours.
In New York, frogs may be taken from their ponds from June 16 to September 30, but only between sunrise and sunset.
In Pennsylvania, no one is allowed to shoot bullfrogs on a Sunday.
In Arizona, the bullfrog-hunting season is permanently closed.
In Vermont, you can be fined if your pig runs in a public park without the permission of a selectman.
French Lick Springs, Indiana, once passed a law requiring more...
Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I`ve won 8 of them!"Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I`ve won 19!!""Oh that`s good, but in the last 36 races, I`ve won 28!", says another, flicking his tail.At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. "I don`t mean to boast," says the greyhound, "but in my last 90 races, I`ve won 88 of them!"The horses are clearly amazed. "Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence. "A talking dog."
Today is one of the first Father's Days of our new millennium. Fathers of 1900 didn't have it nearly as good as fathers of today; but they did have a few advantages: In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English. Today, fathers pray their children will speak English. - -------------------------------------------------------------------------------In 1900, a father's horsepower meant his horses. Today, it's the size of his minivan. - -------------------------------------------------------------------------------In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family's head, he was a success. Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that's just the vacation home. - -------------------------------------------------------------------------------In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived. Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure film is in the video camera. - more...
Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!"Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 19!!""Oh that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28!", says another, flicking his tail. At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. "I don't mean to boast," says the greyhound, "but in my last 90 races, I've won 88 of them!"The horses are clearly amazed. "Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence. "A talking dog."
Why did God give blondes 2% more brains than horses?
So they don't crap on the street during parades!
A blonde named Vikki decides she wants to try horseback riding one day. So Vikki mounts the horse, taps its butt, and the horse starts to take off at a reasonable speed. She is having fun, and decides she wants to go a little faster, so she kicks the horses butt, and the horse goes just a little faster. All of a sudden Vikki begins to lose her grip on the reigns of the horse and she begins to fall off, she starts screaming but the horse seemingly unoticing its rider continues... Now Vikki is grabbing on the the horses mane when she beigns to feel tired and her grip starts to fail. The blond lets go of the horses mane, only to get her foot caught in the saddle. So now she is riding along, the horse unnoticing and Vikki's head is beating against the ground over, and over, and over. She almost loses conscience when the Wal-Mart manager runs out and turns off the horse. Sent by Marge