Horses Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and thWork jokesed great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again. The neighbor suggested she notch the ear off one horse. ThWork jokesed fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart. The neighbor suggested she measure the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black.

There was a man and a woman and they lived on a farm. They owned two horses, but they could never tell the difference between them!
One day, the man colored a yellow stripe on one of the horse's tail. Then winter came, and the yellow had washed out from all the rain. The man and woman were left to stand there next to eachother, staring at the horses.
After 2 minutes of staring, the woman finally said, "I've got it!!! The black horse is taller than the white horse!!!"

There once was a really dumb blonde who had two horses. Now this blonde couldn't tell her two horses apart so she decided to ask her neighbor to help he out. She said to her neighbor, "I have two horses that I can't tell apart, can you help me?" "Sure," said her neighbor, "maybe you should nick one of their ears, then you could tell them apart." So, the blonde went home and did that. The next day the blonde went to check up on her horses but saw that she could not tell them apart for the other horse had nicked it's ear also. So, she went back over to her neighbors. "My other horse has a nicked ear now to." she said, " Do you have any other ideas how to tell them apart? They are both girls." "Hmmmm." thought her neighbor," Cut one's tail shorter than the other!" So, the blonde went home and did that. The next day, though, both horses had the same length of tail! So, the blond, tired of walking to her neighbors house more...

A mathematician and a stock broker go to the races to bet on horses. The broker suggests a bet of $10, 000. That's too much for the mathematician's taste: First, he wants to understand the rules, have a look at the horses, etc.
"Don't worry", the broker says. "I know an empirical algorithm that allows me to find the number of the winning horse with absolute certainty."
This does not convince the mathematician.
"You are too theoretical!" the broker exclaims and puts his $10, 000 on a horse.
The horse comes in first - making the broker even richer than he already is. The mathematician is baffled.
"What is your algorithm?" he wants to know.
"It's rather easy. I have two children, three and five years old. I add up their ages and bet on that number."
"But three plus five is eight - and that horse had number nine!"
"I told you that you're too theoretical! Didn't I just experimentally more...

A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself. As he walks up to the bar the bartender asks, "what's the matter?"
The fellow replies, "well I've got these two horses (sniff, sniff), and well... I can't tell them apart. I don't know if I'm mixing up riding times or even feeding them the right foods."
The bartender, feeling sorry for the guy, tries to think of somthing he can do. "Why don't you try shaving the tail of one of the horses?"
The man stops crying and says, "that sounds like a good idea, I think I'll try it."
A few months later he comes back to the bar in worse condition than he was before. "What's the matter now?" the bartender asks.
The fellow, in no condition to be in public, answers, "I shaved the tail of one of the horses (sob, sob), but it grew back and I can't tell them apart again!"
The bartender, now just wanting him to shut up or leave says, "why don't you try shaving the more...

Jon bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that he cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again.

The neighbor suggested Jon notch the ear of one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart.

The neighbor suggested he measure the horses for height. When he did, he was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black.

At Heathrow Airport in England, a 300-foot red carpet was stretched out to Air Force One and President Bush strode to a warm but dignified handshake from Queen Elizabeth II.
They rode in a silver 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London where they boarded an open 17th century coach hitched to six magnificent white horses.
As they rode toward Buckingham Palace, each looking to their side and waving to the thousands of cheering Britons lining the streets, all was going well. This was indeed a glorious display of pageantry and dignity.
Suddenly the scene was shattered when the right rear horse let rip the most horrendous, earth-shattering, eye-smarting blast of flatulence, and the coach immediately filled with noxious fumes.
Uncomfortable, but maintaining control, the two dignitaries did their best to ignore the whole incident, but then the Queen decided that was a ridiculous manner with which to handle a most embarrassing situation.
She turned to Mr. Bush and more...