Host Jokes / Recent Jokes

A wealthy Arab was the weekend guest at a country house where the host decided to introduce him to the game of cricket. The Arab watched with interest and he seemed to enjoy the game. Afterwards, the host asked him,' Well, how did you like it?'

'Fine,' said the Arab,' there's just one thing that I don't understand' Well, when you hit the ball you run all over the place. Why don't you get your servants to do that for you?'

"WHO WANTS TO WIN AN IRAQI OIL WELL".
This is how the game is played. A contestant will be required to pick the correct answer out of 4 possible answers. For each correct answer chosen, a contestant wins money. There are 16 steps to winning the oil well. From 1 through 15, the contestant wins a monetary price. The final question, number 16, if answered correctly, wins the contestant an oil well in Iraq. If at any level you fail to correctly answer a question or are unable to answer a question, you automatically are eliminated from the contest.
A contestant has three life lines to use at any time during the contest, and the life lines may used in any combination at any time. The life lines are:
A. Ask the studio audience.
(B) Use a 50/50, in which case two wrong answers are removed from the four answers.
(B) Phone a friend for help.
Host: Our first contestant is Georgie Boy. Welcome to the show, Georgie Boy. What do you do for a living? Do you more...

"WHO WANTS TO WIN AN OIL WELL".
This is how the game is played. A contestant will be required to pick the correct answer out of 4 possible answers. For each correct answer chosen, a contestant wins money. There are 16 steps to winning the oil well. From 1 through 15, the contestant wins a monetary price. The final question, number 16, if answered correctly, wins the contestant an oil well in Iraq. If at any level you fail to correctly answer a question or are unable to answer a question, you automatically are eliminated from the contest.
A contestant has three life lines to use at any time during the contest, and the life lines may used in any combination at any time. The life lines are:
A. Ask the studio audience.
(B) Use a 50/50, in which case two wrong answers are removed from the four answers.
(B) Phone a friend for help.
Host: Our first contestant is Georgie Boy. Welcome to the show, Georgie Boy. What do you do for a living? Do you want to more...

The newly appointed chairman of the local fund-raising committee decided to call personally at the home of the town's wealthiest citizen, a man known for his tightness with a dollar. Remarking on the impressive economic resources of his host, the committee chairman pointed out how miserly it would seem if the town's richest man failed to give a substantial donation to the annual charity drive.
"Since you've gone to so much trouble checking on my assets," the millionaire retorted, "let me fill you in on some facts you may have overlooked. I have a ninety-one-year-old mother who has been hospitalized for the past five years, a widowed daughter with five young children and no means of support, and two brothers who owe the Government a fortune in back taxes. Now, I think you'll agree, young man, that charity begins at home."
Ashamed for having misjudged his host, the fund raiser apologized for his tactlessness and added, "I had no idea that you were more...

A Hoosier, a Kentuckian and a West Virginian were on a Hollywood TV quiz show. The host asked them to complete the sentence: "Old MacDonald had a. .." The Indianan said, "Old MacDonald had a carburetor." "Sorry," said the MC. "Thats incorrect." "Old MacDonald had a flat tire," said the Kentuckian. "Wrong," said the host. "Old MacDonald had a farm," said the West Virginian. "Thats correct!" shouted the MC. "Now for $200, 000, spell farm." The West Virginian thought hard and then spelled carefully: "E-I-E-I-O."

Finally, Jack had made it to the last round of the $5,000,000 Question. The night prior to the big question, he advised the show's host that he desired a question in American History.
When the big night arrived, Jack made his way on stage in front of the studio and TV audience. He was the best guest the show had ever seen and had become the talk of the town. The host stepped up to the mic.
"Jack, for your final question you have chosen American History. If you answer this question correctly, you will walk away $5,000,000 richer. Are you ready?"
Jack nodded with a cocky confidence and the crowd went wild. He hadn't missed a question all week.
"Jack, your American History question is a two-part question. As you are already aware, you may answer either part first. As a rule, the second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you prefer to take a stab at first?" said the host.
Jack was now becoming more noticeably nervous. He more...

A man goes to a fancy dress party, dressed from head to toe in green, carrying a woman on his back.
The host asks, "What have you come as?"
He replies, "I'm a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle!"
The host says, "Why have you a woman on your back?"
"Oh, that's Michelle," he replies.
(My shell)