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A woman called in a repairman to fix her television. Just as he finished, the woman heard her husband's key in the lock. "Hurry," she said to the repairman, "you'll have to hide. My husband is insanely jealous." There was no time to run out the back door, so the repairman hid inside the TV console. The husband came in and plopped down in his favorite chair to watch some football. Inside the TV, the repairman was all squished up and getting hotter and hotter. Finally, he couldn't stand it anymore. He climbed out, marched across the room and out the front door. The husband looked at the TV set, looked at his wife, looked back at the set again and said, "I didn't see the referee send that guy off the field, did you?"

The temperature of Heaven can be rather accurately computed. Our authority is Isaiah 30:26, "Moreover, the light of the Moon shall be as the light of the Sun and the light of the Sun shall be sevenfold, as
the light of seven days." Thus Heaven receives from the Moon as much radiation as we do from the Sun, and in addition 7*7 (49) times as much as the Earth does from the Sun, or 50 times in all. The light we receive from the Moon is one 1/10,000 of the light we receive from the Sun, so we can ignore that. The radiation falling on Heaven will heat it to the point where the heat lost by radiation is just equal to the heat received by radiation, i.e., Heaven loses 50 times as much heat as the Earth by radiation. Using the Stefan-Boltzmann law for radiation, (H/E)^4 = 50, where E is the absolute temperature of the earth (300K), gives H as 798K (525C). The exact temperature of Hell cannot be computed. [However] Revelations 21:8 says "But the fearful, and unbelieving... more...

Arizona
YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN ARIZONA WHEN:
- You've signed so many petitions to recall governors that you can't
remember the name of the incumbent.
- You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
- You can say Hohokam and people don't think you're laughing funny.
- You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
- You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the
Salt River.
- You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
- You can say 115 degrees without fainting.
- You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour and it will be over
100 degrees.
- You have to go to a fake beach for some fake waves.
- You discover, in July, that it only takes two fingers to drive your
car.
- You can make sun tea instantly.
- You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use
your fireplace.
- You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of
distance.
- more...

There once was a man who died and went to heaven. There he saw a hot babe and a ladder. The babe said "you can have sex with me or climb the ladder to success."
The man climbed the ladder. There he saw an even hotter babe who said the same thing. He climbed the ladder again. He saw yet another ladder and an even hotter babe, hotter than the previous ones. She said the same thing.
So the man climbed the ladder one more time. This time he saw an extremely ugly man. The ugly man said "Hi, I'm Sess, suck me."

A woman called in a repairman to fix her television. Just as he finished, the woman heard her husband's key in the lock. "Hurry," she said to the repairman, "you'll have to hide. My husband is insanely jealous."
There was no time to run out the back door, so the repairman hid inside the TV console. The husband came in and plopped down in his favorite chair to watch some football. Inside the TV, the repairman was all squished up and getting hotter and hotter. Finally, he couldn't stand it anymore. He climbed out, marched across the room and out the front door.
The husband looked at the TV set, looked at his wife, looked back at the set again and said, "I didn't see the referee send that guy off the field, did you?"