Climb Jokes

The telephone lineman had been out drinking the night before, and the next day he went to work not feeling too good. He climbed to the top of the first pole and as he took his pliers out to repair the wire he dropped them. He had to climb all the way down to retrieve them.

As he got to the bottom of the pole and was picking up his pliers, Little Johnny, who was standing there said, "My daddy is a lineman too and he would have had two pair of pliers, so he wouldn't have to climb down the pole if he dropped one of them."

The lineman tried to ignore Little Johnny and climbed back up the pole very slowly. About his time he needed a hammer to drive in a large nail. As he was taking it out, it slipped and fell to the ground. Again he had to climb down the pole to retrieve it.

So he slowly climbed down the pole and sure enough Little Johnny was still standing there. He said, "My daddy is a lineman too and he would have carried two hammers so if more...

A factory foreman is walking through the work area, and notices that Kawolski isn't at his station.
He asks one of the other workers if they know where Kawolski is, and the employee points straight up in the air. The foreman looks up, and there's Kawolski, hanging by one arm from the rafters.
"Get down from there, Kawolski," he yells, to which Kawolski replies, "But I'm a light bulb!"
The boss is -NOT- impressed, and makes Kawolski climb down and get back to work.
About an hour later, the boss is walking through the factory once again, and once again he notices that Kawolski is missing. On a hunch, he looks up, and again sees Kawolski hanging by one arm from the rafters.
The foreman makes him climb down, and chews him out, saying that if he catches Kawolski up there one more time, he's going to get fired.
Another hour later, the boss is making another round, and sure enough... there's Kawolski, hanging by one arm from the more...

Why did the blond climb on the roof?
She heard that drinks were on the house

This is Army policy all begins…
Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the Banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water. After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same result - all the apes are sprayed with cold water.
Continue until, when another ape tries to climb the stairs, the other apes try to prevent it.
Now, turn off the cold water.
Now, remove one ape from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other apes attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the more...

A man is walking along one day and he comes upon a ladder. Looking up, he sees that the ladder disappears into the clouds. Curious, he begins to climb. Before long, he is *in* the clouds. He looks around and sees the most horribly ugly woman he has ever seen in his life. Obese, snaggle-toothed, matted hair..... She looks at him, beckons, and says, "Have sex with me, or climb the ladder to success." Well, having no intention of doing *anything* with this woman, the man climbs higher up the ladder. A bit further on, he comes upon a woman slightly less ugly than the woman before. Not attractive, by any means, but not repugnant. "Have sex with me, or climb the ladder to success, "she says. Again, the man elects to continue his climb. Before long, he comes upon another woman. This one is actually attractive. Not a knock-out, but very pleasing. "Have sex with me, or climb the ladder to success." Well, he figures the women keep getting better and better looking more...