Hour Jokes / Recent Jokes

Steve complained to his friend Al that lovemaking with his wife was becoming routine and boring."Get creative buddy. Break up the monotony. Why don't you try playing doctor for an hour?""Sounds great," Steve replied, "but how do you make it last for an hour?" "Hell, just keep her in the waiting room for 45 minutes!"

Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced "One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don't worry we have three engines left".
Thirty minutes later, the captain announced "One more engine has failed and the flight will be two hours longer. But don't worry we have two engines left".
An hour later the capain announced "One more engine has failed and the flight will be three hours longer. But don't worry we have one engine left".
One blonde looked at the other the other blonde and said "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day"

First, you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is Chi-caw-go, or Cha-ca-ga, depending on if you live North or South of Roosevelt Rd.Next, if your road map is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy a new one.
If you are in Naperville and your map is one day old, then it is already obsolete.Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Chicago has its own version of traffic rules... "Hold on and pray." There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Chicago. We all drive like that.All directions start with, "I-94"... which has no beginning and no end.The morning rush hour is from 6 to 10.
The evening rush hour is from 3 to 7.
Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out and, if you happen to be on the south side, possibly shot. When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going to avoid crashing with more...

Two teenagers are sitting on a house porch after school one afternoon. Little Johnny comes walking down the road in front of the house. One of the kids leans over to the other and says, "Do you see that guy? We call him Little Johnny and he is the greatest wheeler dealer in the whole school. He can make a deal and get a trade for almost anything."

This first kid yells to Johnny and asks, "Hey little Johnny, whatcha carrying around with you?" Little Johnny yells back, "I have a sack of buttercups and I am going to go trade them for butter." The teen on the porch yells back, "That is silly! You cannot trade buttercups for butter!" But one hour later, Johnny comes back down the road carrying a bucket full of butter. The two kids on the porch just shake their heads and mutter, "That Johnny is the greatest trader of all."

The next day, the two teenagers see Johnny walking down the road again. One of the kids yells to more...

Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced "One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don't worry we have three engines left".Thirty minutes later, the captain announced "One more engine has failed and the flight will be two hours longer. But don't worry we have two engines left". An hour later the capain announced "One more engine has failed and the flight will be three hours longer. But don't worry we have one engine left". One blonde looked at the other the other blonde and said "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day"

10 Things People Around the World Learn About Americans by Watching Baywatch1. American men and women spend 15 percent of their days running in slow motion along the beach. 2. Americans almost drown an average of two times each hour. 3. Despite the habit of breathing water, CPR always works and no one actually dies, except from cancer. 4. People in the U. S. look thoughtfully at the ocean for an average of 15 seconds after being told anything of any importance. 5. Americans never worry about getting enough to eat, but fat people are unreliable and sometimes evil. 6. Most American women have abnormally large breasts that are worshipped via close-ups for an average of two minutes and thirteen seconds per hour. 7. When swimming in California, you are more likely to be attacked by jewel thieves or taken hostage by terrorists than you are to drown. 8. Most activity that takes place off the beach occurs in montages and lasts no longer than two minutes. 9. Although Americans, especially more...

Gags for the Office Drone Run one lap around the office at top speed
Groan out loud in the bathroom cubicle (at least one other 'no-player'must be in the bathroom at the time)
Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you
Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye"
To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily,"Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!"
Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way"
Walk sideways to the photocopier.
While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open. THREE-POINT GAGS Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers
Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask "Did you get all more...