Hour Jokes / Recent Jokes

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A guy sticks his head in the barber shop and says, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looks around the shop and says, "About an hour and a half." The guy leaves.A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looks around at the shop full of customers and says, "About 2 hours." The guy leaves.A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looks around and says, "About an hour and a half." The guy leaves.The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "Hey, follow that guy and see where he goes." When the friend returns, the barber says, "Well, where did he go when he left here?" The friend looks up and says, "To your house, to screw your wife."

A young man was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard. When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the rest of the afternoon and that he would have to return the next day."What for!" he snapped at the judge. His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query, roared out loud, "Twenty dollars for contempt of court! That's why!" As the young man reached for his wallet, the judge relented, "That's all right. You don't have to pay now." The young man replied, "I know. I'm just checking to see if I have enough for two more words."

We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car.
We whip the enemy in battle, then give them the shirt off our backs.
We yell for speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won't buy a car if it can't go over 100 miles an hour.
Americans get scared to death if we vote a billion dollars for education, then are unconcerned when we find out we are spending three billion dollars a year for cigarettes.
We know the line-up of every baseball team in the American and National Leagues but don't know half the words in the "Star Spangled Banner".
We'll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live longer, then drive 90 miles an hour on slick pavement to make up for lost time.
We tie up our dog while letting our sixteen year old son run wild.
We will work hard on a farm so we can move into town where we can make more money so we can move back to the farm.
In the office we more...

Two hippos are sitting in the middle of a river in Africa. I don't know where, just one of those rivers that you see hippos lolling around in. And, is it hot? I'm telling you, you could die from the heat. It's like 150 degrees and not a breath of breeze.
There's nothing moving except the slowly flowing river and maybe a fly or two buzzing around the hippos. The only parts of the hippos showing are their little ears sticking out of the water and their little bulgy eyes and their nostrils and they're just sitting there, side by side, hour after hour.
Every once in a while a fly lands on one of their ears and they wiggle the ear and it flies around and lands again. Nothing stirs. Hour after hour they sit.
All of a sudden one of this hippos raises its big head out of the water and slowly shakes it. The other hippo then raises his big head out of the water and says, "What?".
And the first hippo says, "I don't know Clyde, all day long I can't get it through my more...

We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car. We whip the enemy in battle, then give them the shirt off our backs. We yell for speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won't buy a car if it can't go over 100 miles an hour. Americans get scared to death if we vote a billion dollars for education, then are unconcerned when we find out we are spending three billion dollars a year for cigarettes. We know the line-up of every baseball team in the American and National Leagues but don't know half the words in the "Star Spangled Banner". We'll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live longer, then drive 90 miles an hour on slick pavement to make up for lost time. We tie up our dog while letting our sixteen year old son run wild. We will work hard on a farm so we can move into town where we can make more money so we can move back to the farm. In the office we talk about baseball, shopping or more...

Two Blondes were out hunting. They decided to separate to get a better chance of catching something.
The first blonde says to the other, "If you get lost, fire three shots into the air every hour. That way I can pinpoint you and find you."
After about three hours, the second blonde finds he is really lost. He decides to fire three shots into the air as the first man told him. He then waits for an hour and does it again. He repeats this until he is out of ammo.
The next morning, the first blonde finds the second with the help of forest rangers. He asks the second blonde if he did what he told him to do.
The blonde answers, "Yes, I fired three shots into the air every hour on the hour until I ran out of arrows."