Hour Jokes / Recent Jokes

One Point Dares:Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
Walk sideways to the photocopier.
While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
When in elevator with one other person, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn't you.
Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy..."
Don't use any punctuation.
Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected sigh.
Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen. Three Point Dares:Say to your boss, "I like your style", wink, and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.
Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.
Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
Every time you more...

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. "Can I help you?" she asked.

"I want to see Natalie," the man replied.

"Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said themadam.

"No, I must see Natalie," was the man's reply. Just then, Natalie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $ 1, 000 a visit. Without hesitation, the
man pulled out 10 one-hundred dollar bills and gave them to Natalie and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night the same man appeared again, demanding to see Natalie. Natalie explained that no one had ever come back two
nights in a row--too expensive--and there were no discounts. The price was still $ 1, 000.

Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Natalie and they went upstairs. After an hour, more...

At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy askingwhat time the bar opens. "It opens at noon," answers the clerk.About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even=drunker. "What time does the bar open?" he asks."Same time as before... Noon," replies the clerk.Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered. "Whatjoo shay the bar opins at?"The clerk then answers, "It opens at noon, but if you can't wait, Ican have room service send something up to you.""No... I don't wanna git in... Ah wanna git OUT!!!"

Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child is different from having your first. Your Clothes 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes. & Preparing for the Birth 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously. 2nd baby: You don`t bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn`t do a thing. 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month. & The Layette 1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn`s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby`s little bureau. 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains. 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can`t they? & Worries 1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a more...

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
194. Spend hours in your room on personal hygiene. Spend at least an hour a day clipping your nails, another hour combing your hair, yet another hour washing your face and hands, etc.

A reception was held in New Delhi. One of the guests, Home Minister Buta Singh loses his invitation card. He arrrives and explains who he is to the guard at the door.
"But how do I know who you are?" asks the guard. "An hour ago, Ravi Shanker came without his invitation card, 1 gave him a sitar and he played a beautiful raag. And half an hour ago, Mani Shanker came without his invitation card, I asked him to name all the recipients of Bofors kickbacks, and he named them all."
"Who is this Ravi Shanker and Mani Shanker?" "Say no more," says the guard, "you are Buta Singh."

Two rednecks from Arkansas were out hunting. They decided to separate to get a better chance of catching something. The first redneck says to the other, "If you get lost, fire three shots into the air every hour. That way I can pinpoint you and find you." After about three hours, the second redneck finds he is really lost. He decides to fire three shots into the air as the first man told him. He then waits an hour and does it again. He repeats this until he is out of ammo. The next morning, the first redneck finds the second with the help of forest rangers. He asks the second redneck man if he did what he told him to do. The redneck answers, "Yes, I fired three shots into the air every hour on the hour until I ran out of arrows."