Howard Jokes / Recent Jokes

Howard had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear that small inner voice trying to reassure him, "Howard. Don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of your patients and you won't be the last." But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality, "Howard. You're a veterinarian."

Howard County Police officers still write their reports by hand, and the data is entered later by a computer tech into their database. One theft report stated that a farmer had lost 2,025 pigs. Thinking that to be an error, the tech called the farmer directly."Is it true Mr. (Smith) that you lost 2,025 pigs?" she asked."Yeth." lisped the farmer.Being a Howard County girl herself, the tech entered: "Subject lost 2 sows and 25 pigs."

Howard Dean's wife held a press conference today where she announced that until the election is over she will shave off all her pubic hair and sit on stage with husband Howard, and wearing no panties.Astounded reporters asked what the message was, to which she replied "Read my lips. No more Bush"

Howard felt really bad. One side of him said, "It's all right Howard. You aren't the first person to sleep with your patient, and you won't be the last."
The other side would come right back at him. "Howard... you're a veterinarian..."

Howard had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming.
But every once in a while he'd hear that soothing inner voice trying to reassure him, "Howard. Don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of your patients and you won't be the last."
But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality, "Howard. You're a veterinarian."

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Howard Hughes!
Howard Hughes who?
Howard Huges like a punch on the nose?

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Howard!
Howard who?
Howard can it be to guess a Knock Knock
joke?