Huge Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, "Sir, did you call for me?" The man replies, "No, what do you mean?" She says, "You must be new here, let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection it implies you called for me." Smiling she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.
The man continued to explore the colony's facilities. He enters the sauna and as he sat down he farted. Within a few minutes a huge, horrible, corpulent, hairy man lumbers out of the steam toward him. "Did you call for me?" says the hairy man. "No, what do you mean?" says the newcomer. "You must be new here," says the hairy man, more...

Hillary Clinton died one day and wen't to heaven and there were thousands of clocks. She asked why there were so many clocks? The angel that was standing there told her that each clock represents a person, when a person lies it ticks one second. She asked to see her husbands. The angel studerd for a second and then gave some huge ear muffs to her with a earpiece. The angel showed Hillary to a huge room on the wall was mounted a digital clock that was ticking like hell. She looked around and saw MILLIONS AND MILLIONS of insane angels mumbling "Tick, tick tick, tock, tock tock.." and MILLIONS AND MILLIONS of broken clocks. The angel sighed and said "we had to go to digital"

there is a guy that walks into a bar and sees a huge pile of money and
asks the bar-keep what its for. The bar-keep says its a bet that no one has one
yet. so the guy asks what has to be done and the bar-keep replys,"three things
have to be done, first, you see that huge wrestler over in the corner?" they guy
says "yup.", "you have to whoop the shit out of him! Then there is a doverman
pincher in that closet over there, you have to go in there and pull his loose
tooth, but he is a mean fucker" "and third?" asked the guy and the bar-keep
answered "see that dike over there, you have to get her to fuck you" and the
guy was wondering how the hel that was all suposed tho be done in one night. So
he took three shots of tequila and siad "FUCK IT!!!!!" he walked ove rthe the
wresteler and beat the shit out ofe him and then walked in to the closet and
every one got quiet after the more...

"Hillary's got this huge book, it's a memoir of her life and times at the White House. In the book she says when Bill told her he was having an affair, she said 'I could hardly breathe, I was gulping for air.' No, I'm sorry, that's what Monica said."
- David Letterman

One white guy went to the bathroom to pee.
He saw a black guy at the next urinal with a huge penis.
White guy said " wow! brother, you gotta huge pecker"
Black guy just grinned and said "Why thank you, man.
Would you like to know how you could have one too?
"Hell yes," replied the white man as dreams of all the
women he could have danced through his head.
"Well, tell you what you do... you lay your dick out on
the table, grease it up real good with some butter...
and smack it REAL hard between two bricks," stated the
coon without even flinching.
The white guy raised his brow and winced in pain, "Are
you sure, man?! That has to hurt like hell!!!"
The spook just grinned, "Nah, just hurts the first few
times, but damn it's worth it, let me tell you. I have
at least 6 women each week now that I have this huge
talleywacker!"
"Six women? Goddamn! I more...

Frank was excited about his new rifle. So, he went bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear.
The black bear said: "You've got two choices.
I either maul you to death or we have rough sex."

Frank decided to bend over. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it.

There was another tap on his shoulder.

This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly says: "That was a huge mistake, Frank. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have REALLY rough sex."

Again, Frank thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it would take several months before Frank finally recovered. Outraged he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly and shot it.

He more...

A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand-dune. "One Texas soldier is better than ten Taliban".The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.The voice then calls out "One Texan is better than one hundred Taliban".Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.The Texan voice calls out again "One Texan is better than one thousand Taliban".The enraged Taliban Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence.Eventually one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don`t send any more men, its a trap. There`s more...