Humor Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two friends: - I heard that you have founded a musical band. - Yes, it is a quartet. - How many are you? - We are three. - Three? - Me and my brother. - You have a brother? - No, why do you ask?

So one day, Gramma sent her grandson Johnny down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it forGrammas kitchen. "Well now, wheres my bucket and wheres my water?" Gramma asked him. "I cant get any water from that water hole, Gramma" exclaimed Johnny. "Theres a BIG ol alligator down there!""Now dont you mind that ol alligator, Johnny. Hes been there for a few years now, and hes never hurt no one. Why, hes probably as scared of you as you are of him!" "Well, Gramma," replied Johnny, "if hes as scared of me as I am of him, then that water aint fit to drink!"

Two guys are talking: (1) - I've bought a tour to my mother-in-law. (2) - Your mother-in-law???!!! (1) - Why not, to Bagdad.

How many librarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?"I dont know, but I can look it up for you."

A newlywed couple, after bringing their luggage into their cabin, stormed down to the desk. The bride was in tears, and the groom was red faced. When asked what the problem was, the groom started swearing at the desk clerk. "We booked a cabin with a view for our honeymoon, and all we get to see out the window is a parking lot!"

Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
You wake up face down on the pavement.
You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.
You see a "60 Minutes news team" waiting in your outer office.
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
Your only son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business. (how OLD this 1 is? *g* )
You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party, and there aren't any.
You turn on the TV news and they're displaying emergency routes out of your city.
The woman you've been seeing on the side begins to look like your wife.
You wake up to discover that your water bed broke and then you realize that you don't have a water bed.
Your horn goes off accidently and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
You get a rejection notice from the HUMOR Listserver saying that you're no longer more...

advice to all employers, never employ a dwarf with a bad sense of humour coz its not big and its not funny