Humor Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two women were sitting by the pool, and one asked what kind of water they fill the pool with -- fresh water or sea water? The cruise director answered, "Sea water." "Oh, that explains why it's so rough today."
The head Counselor gathered all the campers together. To get their attention, the Counselor called out, Order! Order! In a flash someone shouted out, Hamburger, coke and fries!
A man was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile. When the foreman asked the man why he kept painting less each day, he replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can."
Two women were sitting by the pool, and one asked what kind of water they fill the pool with -- freshwater or sea water? The cruise director answered,"Sea water." "Oh, that explains why its so roughtoday."
A man is hired by the circus to perform a necessary but rather unpleasant task. He is asked to walk behind the elephants in the center ring, shoveling aside their droppings as they walk about. After a rather difficult evening at work, he goes to the circus cafeteria, sits with other workers, and begins complaining about his work. "It's just terrible work, walking behind those huge beasts and first dodging, then shoveling aside the dung they produce. My arms are tired, my shoes and pants are a mess, and I'll have to shower before I return home, because of the stink." His friends at work agree: "Why don't you just quit this miserable job and find something more rewarding to do. You have to have some skills and talents that you can put to use somewhere else." He looks at them, stunned: "You know, you're probably right, but I just can't give up the glamour of show business!"
Abraham wanted a new suit, so he bought a nice piece of cloth and then tried to locate a tailor. The first tailor he visited looked at the cloth and measured Abraham, then told him the cloth was not enough to make a suit. Abraham was unhappy with this opinion and sought another tailor. This tailor measured Abraham, then measured the cloth, and then smiled and said, "There is enough cloth to make a pair of trousers, a coat and a vest, please come back in a week to take your suit." After a week Abraham came to take his new suit, and saw the tailor's son wearing trousers made of the same cloth. Perplexed, he asked, "Just how could you make a full suit for me and trousers for your son, when the other tailor could not make a suit only?" "It's very simple," replied the tailor, "The other tailor has two sons."
The Rocky Mountains are very big and far apart. It takes a long time for an echo to bounce back off one of these mountains. One night, a camper in the Rockies went to sleep early. But before climbing into his sleeping bag he yelled, Time to get up. And eight hours later the echo came back and woke him up!