Hunt Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two hunters are hunting deer in the Western USA. They spot some deer on a farmer's land and they decide to go ask the farmer if he will let them hunt on his land. Only one of the guys goes to ask.
He says, "Sir, we noticed you got some deer on your land and we wondered if you would allow us to hunt them?"
The farmer says, "Sure, no problem. But on one condition. I got this old horse that's real sick and just about ready to die. I'd appreciate one of you fella's shootin him for me. I just can't bring myself to do it."
The hunter says that it won't be a problem. On the way back to the pickup he thinks to himself, "I'm gonna screw around with my buddy."
He walks up to the pickup and says, "That SOB won't let us hunt his land. You know what, I'm gonna shoot his horse."
At this point, the first hunter pulls out his gun and shoots the farmer's horse.
The second guy, so caught up in the emotion says, "Yeah, that SOB!" more...

While out Looking For A Place To Hunt: (supposedly true)
A carload of hunters, looking for a place to hunt, pulled into
a farmer's yard. The driver went up to the farmhouse to ask permission
to hunt. The old farmer said, "Sure you can hunt, but would you
do me a favor? That old mule standing over there is 20 years old
and sick with cancer, but I don't have the heart to kill her. Would
you do it for me?" The hunter said, "Sure," and headed for the car.
While walking back, however, he decided to pull a trick on his
hunting buddies. He got into the car and when they asked if the
farmer had said OK, he said, "No, we can't hunt here, but I'm going
to teach that old cuss a lesson." With that, he rolled down his
window, stuck his gun out and blasted the mule. As he exclaimed,
"There, that will teach him!" a second shot rang out from the
passenger side. And, one of his hunting buddies shouted, "I more...

How to Hunt Elephants -- Math style Mathematicians hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwingout everything that is not an elephant, and catching one ofwhatever is left. Professors of mathematics prove theexistence of at least one elephant and leave the capture ofan actual elephant as an exercise for one of their graduatestudents. Sent by Alex

How to Hunt Elephants -- Comp Sci Style Computer scientists hunt elephants using algorithm A: 1. Go to Africa2. Start at the Cape of Good Hope3. Work northward in an orderly manner, traversing the continent alternately East and West. 4. During each traverse a. Catch each animal seen b. Compare each animal caught to a known elephant c. Stop when a match is detected. Experienced computer programmers modify Algorithm A byplacing a known elephant in Cairo to ensure that thealgorithm will terminate. Sent by Alex

How to hunt elephants -- Lawyer's styleLawyers don't hunt elephants, but they do follow the herdsaround arguing about who owns the droppings. Softwarelawyers will claim that they own an entire herd based on thelook and feel of one dropping. Sent by Alex

Comparing Men/Women at the ATM...
Instructions for the guys:
Pull up to ATM
Insert Card
Enter PIN
Take cash, card and receipt
Drive away
Instructions for the Gals:
Pull up to ATM
Back up and pull forward to get closer
Shut off engine
Put keys in purse
Get out of car because you're too far from machine
Hunt for card in purse
Insert card
Hunt in purse for grocery receipt with PIN written on it
Enter PIN
Study instructions
Hit "CANCEL"
Re-enter correct PIN
Check balance
Look for envelope
Look in purse for pen
Make out deposit slip
Endorse checks
Make deposit
Study instructions
Make cash withdrawal
Get in car
Check makeup
Look for keys
Start car
Check makeup
Start pulling away
Stop
Back up to machine
Get out of car
Take card and receipt
Get back in car
Put card in wallet
Put receipt more...

How to Hunt Elephants -- VP StyleWhen the Vice President of R&D tries to hunt elephants, hisstaff will try to ensure that all elephants are completelyprehunted before he sees them. If the VP sees anonprehunted elephant, the staff will (1) Compliment thevice president's keen eyesight and (2) enlarge itself toprevent any recurrence. Sent by Alex