Hurricane Jokes / Recent Jokes

A hurricane blew across the Caribbean. It didn't take long for the expensive yacht to be swamped by high waves, sinking without a trace. There were only two survivors: the boat's owner, Dr. Jones and the steward, Jack who managed to swim to the closest island.
After reaching the deserted strip of land, the steward was crying and very upset that they would never be found. Dr. Jones on the other hand was quite calm, relaxing against a tree.
"Dr. Jones, Dr. Jones, how can you be so calm?" cried Jack. "We're going to die on this lonely island. We'll never be discovered here."
"Sit down and listen to what I have to say, Jack." began the confident Dr. Jones.
"Five years ago, I gave the United Way $500,000 and another $500,000 to my church. I donated the same amounts four years ago. And, three years ago, I did very well in the stock market, so I contributed $750,000 to each. Last year, business was good, so the two charities each got a more...

10. Decorating the house (boarding up windows).
9. Dragging out boxes that haven't been used since last season (camping gear, flashlights).
8. Last minute shopping in crowded stores.
7. Regular TV shows pre-empted for "specials".
6. Family coming to stay with you.
5. Family and friends from out-of-state calling.
4. Buying food you don't normally buy ... and in large quantities.
3. Days off from work.
2. Candles.

1 And the number one reason Hurricane Season is like Christmas...At some point you know you're going to have a tree in your house!

Top Ten Reasons Hurricane Season is Like Christmas 10. Decorating the house (boarding up windows) 9. Dragging out boxes that haven't been used since last season (campinggear, flashlights) 8. Last minute shopping in crowded stores 7. Regular TV shows pre-empted for "specials" 6. Family coming to stay with you 5. Family and friends from out-of-state calling 4. Buying food you don't normally buy... and in large quantities 3. Days off from work 2. Candles And the number one reason Hurricane Season is like Christmas... 1. At some point you know you're going to have a tree in your house!

There were three girls that commited a crime, so they were going to get executed. There was a red head, brunette, and a blonde. The brunette was up first. The police officer said, " Ready, Set... "
" Tornado! Tornado! " yelled the girl. Everyone looked around, but to their surprise, there was no tornado, so the brunette escaped. Next was the red head. After seeing what the brunette had done, she did the same. " Ready, Set... "
" Hurricane! Hurricane! " yelled the red head. But there was no hurricane, so she too escaped. Finally was the blonde. " Ready, Set... " said the police officer." Fire! Fire! "

-What did the hurricane say to the coconut?
-Hold on to your nuts, it's going to be a hell of a blow job!