Hurt Jokes / Recent Jokes

>Two five year old boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says,
>"Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!".
>
>"I've been circumcised.", the other replied.
>
>"What's that mean?"
>
>"It means they cut the skin off the end."
>
>"How old were you when it was cut off?"
>
>"My mom said I was two days old."
>
>"Did it hurt?", the kid asked inquiringly.
>
>"You bet it hurt, I didn't walk for a year!"

A little girl was out with her Grandmother when they came across a couple of dogs mating on the sidewalk.
"What are they doing, Grandma?" asked the little girl.
The grandmother was embarrassed, so she said, "The dog on top has hurt his paw, and the one underneath is carrying him to the doctor."
"They're just like people, aren't they Grandma?"
"How do you mean?" asked the Grandma.
"Offer someone a helping hand," said the little girl, "and they screw you everytime!"

Doctor: "Does it hurt when you do this?"
Patient: "Yes"
Doctor: "Well, you shouldn't do it then."

Patient (to cosmetic surgeon): Will it hurt me, doctor?
Surgeon: Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brown.

Patient (to cosmetic surgeon): Will it hurt me, doctor? Surgeon: Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brown.

Patient (to cosmetic surgeon): Will it hurt me, doctor?

Surgeon: Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brown.

A man was enjoying a pleasant afternoon of golf.
On the 15th hole, he drove his ball to the right of the fairway into a patch of buttercups. As he neared the ball, he heard a small voice say, "Please sir, don't hurt my buttercups!."
He looked around, but there was no one nearby. So he starts towards his ball again and hears, "Please sir, don't hurt my buttercups!"
Well, the man is a little disturbed by this, so he decides to leave that ball and play another, even though this will cost him a stroke. After he makes his play, an elf appears!
"Thank you, sir, for not hurting my buttercups. As a reward, I will give you all the butter you could ever want."
"Well, that's great," replied the man, "but where were you when I was in the pussy willows?!"