Hussein Jokes / Recent Jokes

The President is meeting with Saddam Hussein regarding the recent crisis. They are meeting in Hussein's Baghdad capital, and halfway through the meeting Hussein hits a button on his armrest. A fake arm flies out and hits Clinton in the face.
A little while later he hits another button and Clinton ducks, only to be kicked in the butt. A while later, this happens again. Clinton is angry, calls a break, and they decide to meet again later, in Washington.
When Hussein comes to DC, they sit in Clinton's office. A few minutes into the discussions, Clinton hits a button, Hussein ducks, but nothing happens. A few minutes later, Clinton hits another button, Hussein ducks again, but still nothing happens. This happens a third time, and Hussein, by this point, is angry and paranoid.
He gets up and shouts "Enough of this! I'm going back to Baghdad!"
Clinton looks up and displays a funny-looking smirk to the Iraqi leader. Then quite calmly replies, "What more...

Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, "Bill, I had awonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautifulcountry, and on each house I saw a banner.""What did it say on the banners?" Clinton asks. Saddam replies, "Allah is god, god is Allah."Clinton says, "You know, Saddam, I am really happy you called. Last night I had a similar dream. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was more beautiful than ever. It had been rebuilt completely, and on each house flew an enormous banner.""What could you see on the banners?" Saddam asks. Clinton replies, "I dont know. I cant read Hebrew."

The Iraqi High Tribunal's appellate chamber on Tuesday upheld Saddam Hussein's death sentence in the Dujail massacre case, Judge Aref Shaheen announced.

Shaheen said the court's decision was the final word in the case.
The toppled Iraqi dictator's execution must take place before January 27, Shaheen said. Iraqi law requires a death sentence to be carried out within 30 days.
On November 5, Hussein was sentenced to death by hanging for his role in the 1982 killings of 148 people in Dujail, a mostly Shiite town north of Baghdad. Hussein's attorneys appealed, and the appellate chamber began reviewing the case December 5.
Hussein's chief defense attorney, Khalil al-Dulaimi, said "We were hoping he would get a suspended sentence. And in a way, he has."

You are stuck in a foxhole with a cobra, Saddam Hussein, a lawyer, and only two bullets in your gun. What do you do? Shoot the lawyer twice.

What's an innunedo? An Italian hemorrhoid prepareation.
What do you call a good looking girl on the campus of Clemson University? A visitor.
Iraq, a good place to take a shiite.
New rules for poker in Los Angeles - four clubs beat a king.
Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liner? So men can understand them.
What's the difference between Gov't bonds and men? Gov't bond eventually mature.
What did God say after he created man? "I can do better than this..."
What's the best thing to come out of a peter? The wrinkles.
What's the difference between 'light' and 'hard'? You can sleep with the light on.
What's the difference between 'dark' and 'hard'? It stays dark all night.
What does a man consider to be a 7-course meal? A hot dog and a six-pack.
What's the difference between Saddam Hussein and a bucket of shit? The bucket.
What do Nagasaki, Hiroshima and Baghdad have in common. Nothing, yet.
What do Saddam Hussein and Little Miss more...

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Q. What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common?
A. They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from!

Q: What is the best Iraqi job?
A: Foreign Ambassador

Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?
A. You only have to teach them to take off.

Q. How do you play Iraqi bingo?
A. B-52... F-16... A-20...

Q: What is Iraq's national bird?
A: Duck

Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot and the Scud Missile?
A: Russia's Airline, Aeroflot has killed more people.

Q: How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.

Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats?
A: So they can see their Air Force.

Q. Did you hear that Saddam Hussein won the toss?
A. He elected to receive

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Q: What do Micheal Jackson and Saddam Hussein have in common?
A: They both pulled out of Jordan.