Hussein Jokes / Recent Jokes
A journalist who saw videotape of the Monday hangings of Saddam Hussein's half-brother and the dictator's former chief judge has described how one of the men was decapitated.New York Times reporter John F. Burns told CNN's Wolf Blitzer Monday evening that Barzan Hassan's head "just snapped off," because he was apparently given too much rope and fell too far -- about eight feet -- for a man of his medium build and weight.
Barzan Hassan was a former chief of the secret police and Hussein's half-brother- well, now more like two-fifths.
Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, "Bill, I had awonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautifulcountry, and on each house I saw a banner." "What did it say on the banners?" Clinton asks. Saddam replies, "Allah is god, god is Allah." Clinton says, "You know, Saddam, I am really happy you called. Last night I had a similar dream. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was more beautiful than ever. It had been rebuilt completely, and on each house flew an enormous banner." "What could you see on the banners?" Saddam asks. Clinton replies, "I don't know. I can't read Hebrew."
In The News - Edited excerpts from the LA Times
Includes some late night humor
WARNING: May be offensive to American Politicians, White House interns, Amtrak, American sports stars, and supermodels.
Well folks, the rain is on hold for a few days, but... Legislators in Sacramento voted to change the state song from "I Love You California" to Paul Simon's "Slip Slidin' Away".
President Clinton says he approaches everything Saddam Hussein says with a great degree of skepticism. Pretty much the same way we approach everything Clinton says. (Letterman)
American forces in the Persian Gulf went back to full alert when Hussein announced he would honor his latest UN inspection agreement as faithfully as Clinton honored his wedding vows.
Newsweek magazine says Monica Lewensky's resume lists one of her duties at the White House as training the new interns. That's not surprising. If you were Bill Clinton, wouldn't YOU want her to train the new intern? more...
Knock Knock
Who's there!
Hussein!
Hussein who!
Hussein that about me!
Saddam HUSSEIN of Iraq wanted a special postage stamp issued, with his picture on it. He so instructed his Postmaster General, stressing that it should be of international quality. The stamps were duly released of the stamp, he began hearingcomplaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and becomefurious. He called the chief of the Secret Service and orderedhim to investigate the matter. The chief checked the matter out at several post offices, andthen reported on the problem to him. He said:" Sir, the stamp is really of international quality. The problem is, our citizens are spitting on the wrong side!"
Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, "Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner." "What did it say on the banners?" Clinton asks. Saddam replies, "Allah is god, god is Allah." Clinton says, "You know, Saddam, I am really happy you called. Last night I had a similar dream. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was more beautiful than ever. It had been rebuilt completely, and on each house flew an enormous banner." "What could you see on the banners?" Saddam asks. Clinton replies, "I don't know. I can't read Hebrew."