Idea Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Cleveland Symphony Orchestra was rehearsing Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. There is an extensive section where the bass players don't play for twenty minutes of so. One of them decided that, rather than stand around on stage looking bored and stupid, they'd all just file offstage during their tacit-time and hang out backstage, then return when they were about to play. It seemed like a good idea at the time.On the night of the performance, the bass players filed off as planned. The last one had barely left the stage when the leader suggested, "Hey we've got twenty minutes, let's fun across the street to the bar for a few!"This idea was met with great approval, so off they went, tuxedos and all, to loosen up. Fifteen minutes and a few rounds later, one of the bass players said, "Shouldn't we be heading back? It's almost time."But the leader announced, "Oh don't worry, we'll have some extra time - I played a little joke on the conductor. Before the performance more...
Once Santa And Banta Bought 2 Horses. But They Were Very Confused. They Were Troubled Because They Could Not Recognise Their Horses. After Some Time Santa Hit Upon An Idea. He Said That He Would Cut The Tail Of His Horse. Banta Said O. K. But Banta Had The Disease Of Night Walking. He Got Up In Night And Cut The Tail Of His Own Horse Too. In The Morning Both Of Them Were Surprised To See That The Tail Of Bantas Horse Wetre Notthere. Then Tehy Were Agin Troubled. Thistime Santa Had The Idea To Cut The Legs Of His Horse. But That Idea Also Failed. Then Both Of Them Started Thinking Seriously. Then Banta Said That, "I Have An Idea". Santa Asked What. Then Banta Told Him That," I Will Take The Black Horse And You Will Take The White Horse
A man and a woman who are strangers find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. They both go to sleep, the man on the top bunk, the woman on the lower.
In the middle of the night the man leans over, wakes the woman and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket?"
The woman leans out and, with a glint in her eye, says, "I have a better idea! Just for tonight, let's pretend we're married."
The man is thrilled at the idea, so the woman says, "Good...Now go get your own damn blanket!"
Banta called his friend, Santa, and told him that he recently met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?
Santa said, "Send her some flowers, and on the card invite her for a home-cooked meal."
Banta liked the idea, so he invited the woman.
The day after the meal Santa calls Banta and asks about the meal.
Banta, "It was a flop idea."
Santa, "Didn`t the girl come to your house?"
Banta, "She did, but she refused to cook!"
On the way home from the party, the woman said to her husband, "Have I ever told you how handsome and sexy and irresistible to women you are?"
"Why no," said the husband, flattered.
"Then what the hell gave you that idea at the party?!" she yelled.
On the way home from the party, the woman said to her husband, "Have I ever told you how handsome and sexy and irresistible to women you are?""Why no," said the husband, flattered."Then what the hell gave you that idea at the party?!" she yelled.
A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude." "You must be an engineer," said the balloonist." I am," replied the woman. "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far." The woman below responded, "You must be in management." "I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well," said the woman, more...