Identification Jokes / Recent Jokes

This technician's company uses satellite communications to send and receive messages from tugboats moving barges up and down major rivers. Each day, by 2 p.m., the tugboats send data on the day's activities to the company's traffic department.At least that's how it's supposed to work."I got a call from our traffic department saying they only got data from about half the boats, and would I check on it?" technician says.He calls the satellite company, but the technician there says there's no problem on his end.Meanwhile, the traffic department calls again -- they're still not getting messages from the missing boats."So I called the boats and got them to re-send the messages, and they came through," says our tech. "The problem apparently cleared itself up."But he isn't quite satisfied. "I called the satellite company back to see what happened, and what we could do if the problem recurred."Satellite company's technician doesn't know what happened more...

A Guide to the Identification and Classification of North American FartsLearning- or better still, thinking up- names for fart types is atraditional early-adolescent ritual. Similarly, methods of identifyingthe source of a fart are a subject of peer-group, or tribal, speculation, the usual rule of thumb being "Who smelled it, dealt it,"or "The smeller's the feller." Occasionally, this oral tradition has acheived the level of Xeroxpublication, but never before has a systematic analysis, along the linesof Jane's Fighting ships or A Field Guide to the Birds, been attemptedin print. Tentatively, then, we present the following. Blind Farts: Traditional noiseless reekers. (Expression since circa1880 - see also "SBD's"). Boomers: Full-throated, rousing explosions; the parent orginismfrequently betrays his or her authorship with a smile of ill-conceledpride. Carpet Creepers: Heavier- than- air creations, these linger andpermeate the atmosphere at or near ground more...

DURING a readiness exercise, my friend Jim and I, Air Force security policemen, were guarding entry to a bunker-like structure where aircrafts were kept.When a pilot about to do a preflight check approached without his identification in plain view, Jim asked him for it."I don't see why I have to show you my ID," the pilot snapped. "After all, it is my plane.""Sir, with all due respect, it may be your plane," replied Jim, "but it's sitting in my garage!"

A Guide to the Identification and Classification of North American FartsLearning- or better still, thinking up- names for fart types is atraditional early-adolescent ritual. Similarly, methods of identifyingthe source of a fart are a subject of peer-group, or tribal, speculation, the usual rule of thumb being "Who smelled it, dealt it,"or "The smeller's the feller."Occasionally, this oral tradition has acheived the level of Xeroxpublication, but never before has a systematic analysis, along the linesof Jane's Fighting ships or A Field Guide to the Birds, been attemptedin print. Tentatively, then, we present the following.Blind Farts: Traditional noiseless reekers. (Expression since circa1880 - see also "SBD's").Boomers: Full-throated, rousing explosions; the parent orginismfrequently betrays his or her authorship with a smile of ill-conceledpride.Carpet Creepers: Heavier- than- air creations, these linger andpermeate the atmosphere at or near ground more...

No person shall sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange, display or possess living baby chicks, ducklings, or other fowl or rabbits which have been dyed or colored - nor dye or color any baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits - nor sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange or to give away baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits, under two months of age in any quantity less than six, except that any rabbit weighing three pounds or more may be sold at an age of six weeks. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than $100 nor more than $500. -KRS 436.600 (Passed 1966 Ky. Acts ch. 215, sec. 5.) It's illegal to fish in the Ohio River in Kentucky without an Indiana Fishing License. Any person who displays, handles or uses any kind of reptile in connection withany religious service or gathering shall be fined not less than fifty dollars ($50) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100). -KRS 437.060 (Passed 1942, from Ky. Stat. sec. 1267a-1.). All bees more...