Identity Jokes

Rapper DMX plead not guilty to identity theft...and I believe him...because I strongly doubt there is anyone else named DMX.

Brochstein walks up to Horowitz in the street, taps him on the shoulder and when Horowitz turns, he sends him sprawling to the ground with a solid zetz to the nose. He then says, "take that, Rosenzweig, you lousy mamzer!!" The bleeding Horowitz shouts back, "I'm Horowitz, you schook! I am NOT Rosenzweig."
Realizing his error, Brochstein apologizes profusely and begs forgiveness for the error of mistaken identity. However, Horowitz remains furious and he screams forth a steady blue stream of epithets.
Finally, Brochstein says, "please Horowitz, calm down. Why are you so upset? Why do you care so much about how I treat Rosenzweig?"

A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap.

When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since birth. The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiserating concerning the problems of being blind.

The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity. He had never been able to see his reflection in the water, and for that reason did not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was. The rabbit declared that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from head to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was.

The snake agreed, and started by winding himself around more...

One day, a rabbit and a snake were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways when they collided at the intersection. Immediately, they began arguing with each other as to which one was at fault for the mishap.
When the snake remarked that because he had been blind since birth he should be given additional leeway, the rabbit declared that he, too, had been blind since birth. Suddenly, they both forgot about the collision and began to commiserate about the problems of being blind.
The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity. Since he had never been able to see his reflection in the water, he did not know what he looked like or even what he was. The rabbit declared that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit suggested that they feel each other from head to toe, and then attempt to describe what the other was.
The snake agreed and began to wind himself around the rabbit. After a few moments, he said, more...

A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap.
When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since birth. The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiserating concerning the problems of being blind.
The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity. He had never been able to see his reflection in the water, and for that reason did not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was. The rabbit declared that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from head to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was.
The snake agreed, and started by winding himself around the rabbit. After more...