Idiot Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman was letting her husband have it with just a touch more venom than usual, saying,' You're an idiot. You have always been an idiot. You'll always be an idiot. If they had an idiot contest, you'd come in second.'

'Why would I come in second?' asked the husband.

'Because you're an idiot!'

If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Philip's Screwdriver?
Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital?
Why is a wise man and wise guy opposites?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
Have you ever noticed... Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
Suppose you were an idiot... And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself.
Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Iraq.
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my gosh....I could be eating a more...

Once morron and idiot were standing in a line of a atm machine where morron was behind idiot when morron was removing money idiot spoke from behind to morron i saw your password its **** listening to bantas hearing santas u r wrong its 1258.

If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Philip's Screwdriver? Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital? Why is a wise man and wise guy opposites? If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed? Have you ever noticed... Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.Suppose you were an idiot... And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself.Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Iraq.Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my gosh....I could be eating a slow learner.What do people mean when more...

Morron " when i was eight years old i fell down from a tree and got hurt. Idiot " how much old are you now?" morron " thirty." idiot " when you fell you were not dead" morron kept thinking for a long time then he replied, "oh! Yaar when this incident happened i was very small so i cannot recollect"

People say you are the perfect idiot. I say you are not perfect, but you are doing pretty good.

Cool Bumper Stickers

-A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

-Horn broken, watch for finger.

-My kid had sex with your honor student.

-If at first you don't succeed, try not to look astonished.

-I. R. S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

-Jesus loves you... Everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

-I'm just driving this way to piss you off.

-Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. -Keep honking, I'm reloading.

-Hang up and drive.

-Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.

-Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.

-If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

-Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

-I want to die in my sleep like my Grandfather did, not kicking and screaming like his passengers.

-I'm as confused as a baby in a topless more...