Ignored Jokes / Recent Jokes

Santa was asked to try out a new parachute with a radio link to a guy on the ground, the guy on the ground would say when to pull the release cord for the parachute.
Santa jumped out of the plane and started to fall when he reached a thousand feet the guy on the ground said ok pull the release cord now, Santa didn't take any notice and kept falling.
He got down to 500 feet and the guy on the ground said quick pull the cord you are getting close, but Santa just ignored him and kept falling.
He got down to 100 feet and the guy on the ground said quick pull the cord, Santa still ignored him.
He got down to 10 feet, the guy on the ground said this is your last chance you'll be killed if you don't pull the cord now.
Santa replied, "Thats ok. I can jump from here!!"

A woman who ignored doctors and had a fly puff in a hospital ward while visiting a sick friend fell out of a window.
German Inge Brunner lost her balance while puffing out of the window and plunged 65 feet.
But she escaped serious injury after an ash tree (Ash tree? How very apropos... MM) broke her fall.
The 25-year-old was able to walk back inside the hospital (VERY convenient place to fall off a window...) in Tuebingen where she was treated for cuts and bruises.
Afterwards she vowed: "I'm going to give up smoking straight away. I had asked the doctors if I could smoke inside and they said no as it was bad for my health.
"I ignored them and decided to smoke out the window so no one would know, but lost my balance.
"But I have learned my lesson. No more cigarettes for me."
(Source: Daily Record and Sunday Mail, Wednesday, 7/18/01)

Chain Letter Type IIIHi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This isabsolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not asmany little 8 year olds writing chain letters. So this is how it works. Passthis on to 15, 067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible willhappen to you like: Queer Horror Story #1Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recentlyreceived this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in theside walk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood ofpoop, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!! Queer Horror Story #2Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, somepeople swing that way, especially at Oklahoma City University). They bothdied and went to hell. They continued to suffer in hell where they were more...

In March 1992 a man living in Newton near Boston Massachusetts received a bill for his as yet unused credit card stating that he owed $0. 00. He ignored it and threw it away. In April he received another and threw that one away too.

The following month the credit card company sent him a very nasty note stating they were going to cancel his card if he didn't send them $0. 00 by return of post. He called them, talked to them, they said it was a computer error and told him they'd take care of it.

The following month he decided that it was about time that he tried out the troublesome credit card figuring that if there were purchases on his account it would put an end to his ridiculous predicament. However, in the first store that he produced his credit card in payment for his purchases he found that his card had been cancelled. He called the credit card company who apologized for the computer error once again and said that they would take care of it.

The more...

Some friars were behind in their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise the funds.Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair.He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. He asked his mother to go ask the friars to get out of business. They ignored her.So, the rival florist hired Hugh Mac Taggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close shop.Terrified, the friars did so.The Moral of the Story:Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars!

What a world? (country NSW)... On Thursday, 24 January 2002, Derek Guille broadcast this story on his afternoon program on ABC radio.

In March, 1999, a man living in Kandos (near Mudgee in NSW) received a bill for his as yet unused gas line stating that he owed $0. 00. He ignored it and threw it away. In April he received another bill and threw that one away too.

The following month the gas company sent him a very nasty note stating they were going to cancel his gas line if he didn't send them $0. 00 by return mail. He called them, talked to them, and they said it was a computer error and they would take care of it.

The following month he decided that it was about time that he tried out the troublesome gas line figuring that if there as usage on the account it would put an end to this ridiculous predicament. However, when he went to use the gas, it had been cut off. He called the gas company who apologised for the computer error once again and said more...

After acquiring enough money from handouts, an inhabitant of the Bowery decided to take his refreshment at one of Wall Street's better drinking establishments.
A financial tycoon seated next to him was visibly appalled at the appearance and odor of the down-and-outer; so much so, in fact, that he turned to the man and pointedly said, "' Cleanliness is next to godliness'-John Wesley." His words were ignored.
A few minutes later, the financier again intoned loudly, "' Cleanliness is next to godliness'-John Wesley." Still he was ignored.
Finally, the visibly irritated financier shouted in the man's face: "' Cleanliness is next to godliness'-John Wesley!"
To which the skicUrow denizen calmly replied, "' Screw you'- Tennessee Williams."