Impediment Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down at the local bar, when one said to the other: "If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?"
"Yeah, sure thing," replied his friend, "fire away."
"Well," said the first guy, "why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?"
"It's probably because of her speech impediment," replied the second guy.
"What do you mean her speech impediment?"
inquired the first fellow.
"My wife doesn't have a speech impediment!"
"Well," replied his friend, "you must be the only guy who hasn't noticed that she can't say 'NO'!!"

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

Three little boys were looking for a summer job. Their preacher needed some people to go around and sell bibles. So the preacher hired two boys without even thinking twice. But he was hesitant about hiring the third boy because he suffered from a speech impediment.
So after the first days of work they all met back at the church. The preacher looked at the first boy and asked him, "How many bibles did you sell?"
The boy stood up and said, "35."
"Is that all you sold?" the preacher asked.
"He looked at the second boy and asked him the same thing. The boy said, "75." "That is good," the preacher replied.
He didn't want to ask the third boy but did. The boy with the speech impediment said ''I-I-I s-s-sold 175.'' The preacher was amazed and asked the boy how did he sell all of the bibles. He said ''I-I-I t-t-told them to b-b-buy t-t-them or I will r-r-read it to t-t-them'''

Q: What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment?
A: She can't say "No".

Santa and Banta were enjoying a few drinks down at the local bar, when Santa said to Banta, "If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?"
"Yeah, sure thing," replied his friend, "fire away."
"Well," said Santa, "why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?"
"It's probably because of her speech impediment," replied Banta.
"What do you mean her speech impediment?" inquired Santa, "My wife doesn't have a speech impediment!"
"Well," replied Banta, "you must be the only guy who hasn't noticed that she can't say 'NO'!"

Three little boys were looking for a summer job. Their preacher needed some people to go around and sell Bibles, so the preacher hired two boys without even thinking twice. He was hesitant about hiring the third boy because he suffered from a speech impediment, but hired him anyway.
So after the first days of work, they all met back at the church. The preacher looked at the first boy and asked him, "How many bibles did you sell?"
The boy stood up and said, "35."
"Is that all you sold?" the preacher asked.
"He looked at the second boy and asked him the same thing.
The boy said, "75."
"That's good," the preacher replied. He didn't want to ask the third boy but did. The boy with the speech impediment said, "I-I-I s-s-sold 175."
The preacher was amazed and asked the boy how he managed to sell all those Bibles.
He said, "I-I-I t-t-t-t-told them to b-b-buy t-t-t-t-them or I will r-r-read it more...

There's a guy with a speech impediment who goes out to run some errands one day. First he goes to a candy store. He walks up to the clerk and says, "I'd like this bum."
The clerk says, "You mean the gum?"
The guy answers, "That's what I said - bum."
So he gets the gum and goes on to the hardware store. He finds an employee and says, "I'd like to have the fucket on that shelf."
The employee asks, "You mean the bucket?"
The guy says, "That's what I said - fucket."
So the man starts walking home with his gum and his bucket and he walks by the pet store. In the window of the pet store is the cutest cocker spaniel puppy he's ever seen. He walks inside and says to the lady at the counter, "I'd like that cock-and-spank-it in the window."
The lady says, "You mean the cocker spaniel?"
The guy says, "That's what I said - cock-and-spank-it."
The lady gives him the dog on more...